


Lust for Life

by Shyyynobi



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Student/Teacher, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Cheating, Drama & Romance, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Oral Sex, Public Sex, Rough Sex, Smut, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-11
Updated: 2018-07-10
Packaged: 2019-02-13 15:23:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 41,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12986910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shyyynobi/pseuds/Shyyynobi
Summary: They both knew this would end. They both knew the reality of what they were doing. Yet, they couldn't stop it from happening - sometimes bearing the weight of your pain alone can be too much.





	1. Dark Paradise

**Author's Note:**

> So I've had this idea brewing in my head for sometime. I really wanted to do a shy!Sakura centered work for a teacher/student AU and well - I love love love Tobirama/Sakura so this seemed entirely fitting. (and really, there isn't nearly enough fanfiction for them)  
> Obviously, Sakura is much more shy here, and I really wanted to write about the flowering of her personality, so let's see how this goes. If that's too OOC for you, I apologize.
> 
> This will be a shorter fic, so if slowburn is the thing for you -- this won't be a pleasurable read as it'll be pretty fast paced.

She hated herself.

She hated herself for loving a married man.

Her _sensei,_ no less.

Sakura numbly chewed on her pencil's erasure, the physical structure of anatomic parts and their conjunctions would normally bring a great amount of joy to her life — but each day she entered the large hall with seventy other students, she found her mind adrift during the lecture, lost in the way _he_ strode across the room — wedding band glinting under the soft glow of the lights, reminding her how terrible a person she was.

If it weren't for her shishou forcing her to take this class - she wouldn't find her heart beating erratically when he passed by.

On the rare occasions where he would walk through the aisles during their test taking, her breath would hitch - hand shaking as he passed with the soft touch of his cologne peppering the air.

Her mother raised her better than this.

So she forcefully pushed aside her horrible thoughts and sat herself in the very back, hoping to hide her embarrassment for a man that glossed over her name during roll call, never offering an inkling of recognition other than the vague compliment when he would return her aced tests.

The cardinal color of his eye would draw her near, but her frailty and embarassment would force her to look away and mumble a small, " _thank you."_

"Tobirama-sensei!" one of the boys threw his hand up and asked a question. Sakura sighed happily in the relinquishing power that her sensei's voice held when he answered with an authority over his knowledge, breaking down the material with such ease it left her scribbling down the the notes last second, almost missing it with her pining.

_Kami, he's so -_

She couldn't bring herself to finish her scandalous thoughts without a hue of pink tinging her nose.

When her tangent thoughts got _too_ far from her, she would force herself to focus and bite her lip, embarrassed by her own reverie.

Each day after class, she would leave quietly - books pressed to her chest and head bowed.

In this foreign city with her friends back at home, she felt reminiscent of her grade school self — bullied and alone. Which left her wondering if her assertive personality only came at the threshold of Ino's unwavering confidence and Naruto's rambunctious behavior.

Truly, she never felt more alone as she did in this bustling city with millions of other people.

If it weren't for her pertinent scholarship, she could be at a university closer to home — but the Tokyo Medical Hospital granted her a complete residency for her outstanding grades and internships, the one thing that she worked tirelessly for.

She waited for her shishou to pick her up near a quiet corner on campus. Although today was Friday, and the woman had an itch for the backdoor gambling casino's before her night shifts — which meant Sakura would have to wait a while.

Hopefully she didn't lose, _again_.

The rides were never pleasant when Tsunade Senju lost her money to a hand of blackjack.

The sound of a strained voice yelling into a phone caught her attention.

Hardly anybody harbored this area of campus — most students fled this cluster of buildings, leaving her to her thoughts and curiously she glanced around the corner to see her sensei pacing back and forth, free hand running through his white hair that stuck out at the oddest angles in premeditated anger.

"S…Sensei?" she whispered to herself, her heart tried digging a hole into the cavity of her chest at the sight of him.

She couldn't hear him, but she could see the intensity in his gaze, the way his piercing red eyes struggled to keep their composure.

Whoever he was yelling at must have made him extremely angry.

Somehow, she found herself careening closer — hoping to hear a bit of what he was saying.

"You what!" he growled evenly into the phone, "I expected you to take him today!"

Sakura kept herself pressed to the wall, chest seizing when he took a step into the open. "Why? Why are you doing this to us?"

He could see her if he took one more —

"Fine, I can't fucking believe you." He hung up abruptly, startling Sakura when he turned and noticed her standing near the street — having caught his argument.

Their eyes met.

Red and viridian.

Her red bow that tied her hair back blew gingerly with her hair — a keepsake to remind her of Ino and their budding friendship when they were children.

With a small yelp of embarrassment, Sakura grabbed her books and backpack, almost missing the fact that her shishou was waiting at the opposite end of the street. Without thinking, she ran across — refusing to turn her head back.

"Sakura!" Tsunade snapped when she entered the car, "don't run across the street blindly! You're nearly an adult you should know better!"

With a small reflexive nod, Sakura pressed herself into the seat — hoping it would eat her alive.

From her peripheral, she could see the spot of white hair in the distance still standing there.

And yes, her shishou lost that day.

xox

Two mornings later, Sakura stuffed her head onto her pillow and groaned.

She debated about not going to class.

She didn't need this class, _right_?

Her roommate looked up from her book, lips tightened into a frown, "if you're going to be so loud, do it elsewhere or shut up. I have a test at noon and I don't need you distracting me."

Sakura lifted herself from her bed, pink hair spilling over her shoulders wildly, "alright, Karin."

She wanted to talk back, wanted to muster the right words that Ino managed when dealing with the kids that bullied her.

It seemed so _easy_ for her best friend.

Still, Sakura struggled to say anything - stuck in her own head, a captive voice unable to speak.

Once, the boys in her school had pulled her hair and thrown her to the ground so hard she split open her forehead and was sent to the hospital — the scar on her forehead reminded her of Harry Potter, but it was much longer and she never did get that invitation. When her mother screamed at the principle to demand what happened, Sakura couldn't find the words to speak, and claimed profusely that she fell on her own — she didn't want more attention on herself.

Other times, the girls would push her into walls or create a circle and make fun of her forehead, leaving her to run and hide her tears, red faced and quivering.

Until Ino offered her the red ribbon, and she found a semblance of a voice.

Absently, she shot a silent glare at her roommate and grabbed her ribbon.

Sakura disappeared after getting ready, deciding she would take the trains today. Fortunately, her campus was nearby and it didn't take long for her to figure out how to navigate her way through the city, at the very least — she felt comfortable enough walking through the endlessly busy streets of Tokyo.

Her distraction only lasted so long, because before long she stood at the doorway to her class — he was always early, so no matter what he would see her when she entered.

With a steadying breath, she set foot into the room.

Only a few students were already there, and as predicted he was sitting at his desk — newspaper in hand.

However, he didn't look up.

Gnawing on her lower lip, Sakura sat in her seat in the very back, bringing out her books to get ahead on the reading. Perhaps he didn't see her the other day?

It could be possible.

Tentatively, she glanced up from behind her book and looked over him.

White button up long sleeve up rolled up to his forearm with a red tie strung loosely on his neck that dragged the pop of color from his eyes, he looked as impeccable and regal as he did every other day.

She gulped, hating herself for wishing he would look at her.

He set the newspaper down and looked directly at her.

Careful what you wish for.

A furious rush of blood lifted to her cheeks and she stuffed her face in her textbook.

Tobirama stayed quiet, eyeing the younger girl in an attempt to dislodge how much she may have heard the other morning.

"Ms. Haruno," his strong voice whipped her attention to him.

_Oh no._

"Yes?" she struggled to keep her composure under his strong gaze.

"I need to speak with you after class, so don't leave." It was a command, and he held no room for debate — causing the few other groups of students in the room to snicker at her dismay.

"Ok, Tobirama-sensei," she confirmed, and when he looked away she groaned to herself, why did she always do this to herself? With a sharp sigh, she did everything in her power to fight the impending amount of embarrassment that would follow at the end of the lecture.

xox

Sakura waited for all the students to leave before gathering her books and walking to the executioners block.

Not that anybody cared, or noticed.

When everyone shuffled out, Sakura stood in front of his desk as he finished collecting their term papers, "you needed to speak with me?" she riled herself — she was no push over, and in a vein attempt she tried to channel Ino's confidence.

He set the papers down evenly on the oak desk, "I saw you yesterday near the back of the buildings, I apologize for anything you may have overheard."

Her face translated the shock she felt.

He's… _Apologizing_?

Instead, she bowed — "no! I'm sorry sensei, I shouldn't have been listening—"

"You were listening?" he stopped, and she bit her lip — wondering why she outed herself.

She lifted herself, clinging onto the books in her hand, "well…Not really, I just happened to be there and overheard you. I didn't hear much of anything…And I would never say anything to anyone else, I swear," she finished uneasily, it wasn't as if she had anyone to tell this to.

Tobirama relented, running a hand through his thick hair — and it suddenly dawned on her this was the furthest extent of their speaking, her face bloomed with a brand new redness she feigned to hide.

He peered down at her, and she felt scrutinized under the intensity of his gaze, "you're a transfer student here, right?"

She perked at the inquiry, "yeah, I'm from the suburbs of Konoha — it's a very small city you probably wouldn't have—"

"I've heard of it," he laughed, "funnily enough — Tsunade is my aunt, you're training under her, aren't you?"

Her heart skipped a beat.

It threatened to barrel through her throat.

Somehow, the words found her before she could stop.

"Yes, she's been extremely kind to me. I plan on finishing my residency once I graduate and work at the hospital here in Tokyo," her words didn't falter — because this plan of hers had been mapped out since she entered high school, and at least in this area of her life, she felt confident.

He smiled at her, soft and light and she couldn't imagine anyone else with such a comforting tilt of their lips, "and your field of work?" he pushed the term papers into his laptop bag.

"Surgical, you should know since that's what your aunt specializes in," she teased, a small smile lit up her face, the natural way she teased him felt foreign compared to the tight lipped, forced conversations she had with Karin.

"Ah, you are right, I should have known. Your grades are exemplary so it only makes sense she would pick one of the best," he took the moment to appreciate the small gile of laughter that took over her body, "you should smile more, Sakura — it suits you."

A sweet tinge of pink kissed her face, and habitually she tugged on her lower lip — allowing his eyes to trail over the small motion, "th…thank you Sensei," she murmured happily, a new, refreshed smile plotting on her lips.

He dismissed her, and wondered why such a sweet girl always found herself sitting alone with such a lost look on her face.

That night, she went to sleep with her pillow clutched to her chest, smiling to herself and happy enough to forget that for a moment — _somebody_ recognized her.

Though, she couldn't help but notice the strain of sadness that paraded through her teacher.

_I wonder what makes him so sad…_

xox

It would be another two weeks of wistful wondering, but as each class lecture came to pass, the furrow of his brow would etch itself into his forehead, and his voice strained to keep its composure. A tiredness grew within him, the normally friendly yet strict sensei wilted into a tired man. Part of her knew it was because of whoever he had been on the phone with that day.

Maybe they were _both_ sad.

One night, she found herself deep in her shishou's study within the university, nearly all of the classes were empty, and the last train of the night already went and left, which left her without a ride. She didn't feel comfortable enough to walk home alone that far at night, and bugging Tsunade while she was at work was a hard no.

Plus, she felt guilty using her kindness so much — she could just sleep here for the night.

With only a headlamp offering her light over her surgical textbooks, the kind of tired that burned her eyes and made the words fuzzy forced her to blink and sigh — there was no use studying further for her exam if she couldn't keep her eyes open.

She turned off the headlamp when someone jiggled with the keys to her study.

With a small gasp, Sakura froze in her spot — who else could possibly have a key?

Tobirama stumbled through the door.

" _Sensei_?" she yelped, feeling like she shouldn't be here when she had the keys next to her.

He didn't respond, and it took a moment for him to recognize her through the darkness, "…Sakura?"

The smell of liquor trailed after him as he entered, and it took him a moment to navigate the room to find the sofa and land on it, a sour laugh on his lips.

This wasn't ok.

"What are you doing here?" he mumbled through the fog of his stupor, words slurred on a normally sharp tongue.

"I'm studying..." Sakura managed to answer, tugging nervously on the hem of her skirt.

He didn't respond, or rather - _couldn't_ respond as he ran his hand through his hair, slowly undoing his tie and buttons on his shirt - exposing the cool air to his chest.

Sakura gulped, beguiled by the display.

"Sensei…Are you alright?" she murmured, feeling oddly perturbed at his behavior.

He laid himself down slowly, stretching tired legs before shaking his head, "no, I'm not," he glanced outside the window, sad eyes breaking her heart, "…ever been in love with someone who doesn't love you?"

The statement rooted her to the earth, and a longing chest pang throbbed under her skin, itching at her and itching at her until she chose to ignore it, "…yes," she answered with finality, dragging her hand to her chest to stop the pain.

Tobirama washed his gaze over her, "hurts, doesn't it?" his words were a delicate hush, and she could feel the heartiness of his torment, and with all of her being she wanted to drag the longing and hurt from him and shoulder it herself. Looking at him now, with his lean body extended on the couch — the moonlight bathed him in a glow that made him look ethereal…But the melancholy of his speech reminded her of the sad angels she read about as a child.

"Yes…" her voice trailed off in a soft whisper, "and when you're alone there's nothing you can do about it except try and distract yourself," she thumbed the edge of her skirt, having ever only thought about this herself.

"Is that why a pretty girl such as yourself is sitting here studying late into the night on a weekend instead of being out with your friends?" his straight forward statement sent her reeling, and from within the darkness of the room she could feel the heat rise to her face.

She realized it was a platonic statement, a girl could _hope_ — but she would never wish to disrespect his marriage with his wife and think it was anything other than a gentle compliment.

With a hesitant, nervous laugh, she turned to her books, "…don't be silly, Sensei — I," she paused, because truthfully she _didn't_ have any friends here.

Back home she really only ever hung out with Ino and Naruto.

"You don't have many friends here, do you?" his attention made her feel faint.

She bit her lip, it's not that she didn't try — but every time she tried she was over looked. All of the students here had long ago formed their circle of friends, she was an outsider from a smaller town.

_I wish Naruto were here…_

That thought crossed her mind daily, never understanding how he truly brought a ray of sunshine into her days.

Most days she also wished for Ino's unwavering confidence, and although Naruto could be annoying, there was never a lack of conversation where he would bounce around her, just _happy_ to be around her. He even cried the day she was leaving, and just the memory of him warmed her chest.

"I don't have any," she admitted, "it's difficult to find friends when you have nothing in common with anybody here."

Her teacher raised himself from the couch, and before he could speak, Sakura decided to cut him off, "why are you here, Sensei? You look sad everyday in class…And you reek of alcohol," the boldness of her statement felt contrary to how she felt like a falling leaf in the wind, but her undeniable need to help people won over her submissive attitude.

"I don't think you want to hear that story," he loosened his tie further, but the peering eyes of his young student brimming with possibility enticed him to disclose, and the alcohol in his system opened his lips.

"I do!" she piped up, "I hate seeing how you look tired each day, I _hate_ that you seem to carry a burden without anybody's help…I — you're my favorite teacher, and I enjoy your class…" she had to stop, by now she was blubbering, and the correct words wouldn't find her.

His lips tilted, "don't tell my aunt that, she might kill us both."

They shared a small laugh, wry and indignant - but enough to shatter the wall of formalities.

The pleading nature of her expressive eyes compelled him.

"Marital problems," he finally acquitted, "…I shouldn't be telling you this, but—" he sighed and gripped his face, obviously frustrated with his situation, and if it were't for the heavy amounts of sake in his blood, he wouldn't have opened up to her. "My wife is threatening to leave me," his statement felt resolute, and he leaned back against the couch, forcing himself to stare out the window at the infinite skyline of night time Tokyo — the millions of lives on top of one another felt minuscule compared to the loneliness they both felt.

Sakura never put much thought into marriage.

Sure, as a child she did.

Maybe once when her short term boyfriend Shisui basked in the glow of their first time that left her sore and unhappy and him verdantly brimming with happiness, but that's what girls do — _right_?

Instead, she focused on school.

And seeing this man wilting before her like a flower that had been plucked too soon — her stance remained firm on the matter.

She _shouldn't_ ask, she _shouldn't_ pry, "why?"

That sad smile returned, he leaned forward — and for a short moment she could feel his attention on her lips, they were in a quiet corner of the university.

Perhaps, just this _once_ she could give in.

He touched a petal-colored lock of hair and twisted the strand between nimble fingers, pulling her close enough in the small area of the study to rest his hand on her thigh to balance himself. Her skin tingled, and her lips parted - drawing his attention to her innocent, widely delectable features.

"What an unusual color," he murmured — half to himself, half to her.

"Sensei?"

Tobirama, the man that had been the center of her pining for the last few months - with his thick lashes and strong arms, allowed his hand to grace over the collar of her shirt, his thumb running smoothly on her clavicle, eliciting the smallest of gasps from his student. "You're a beautiful girl, you know that?"

If she wanted - Sakura could have initiated a kiss.

Her fear ebbed her, and weakly she pulled away by his sudden compliment.

His eyes glossed over, and Tobirama removed himself - He fell on the couch, exhausted. The soft sound of his shallow breathing followed, and it made her crinkle her nose in a small delight to know that he snored once she gathered herself enough to actually _think._  
  
Once she knew he was asleep, disbelief gripped her.

_Did that really just happen?_

To be sure, she pinched herself on her thigh.

_Yep, I'm awake._

For a moment, she watched him sleep - even in sleep, she could see the furrow of his brow, the lines of worry etched into his handsome face.

In the end, she searched for the spare blankets that her shishou kept here in case of a long night of drinking and covered him to save him from the cold air. In the opposite corner she fell asleep with her head on the desk in a final attempt to study.

Contrary to the uncomfortable position, the sound of his light, pittering snores lulled her into a deep sleep.

xox

In her dreams, sometimes she flew.

Other times she could walk in a crowd and be completely invisible.

More often than not, she had a reoccurring dream where she found herself on a battle field, hands soaked in blood and a world of chaos around her, but she was there saving lives. With the power of a thousand men, she would break boulders with her fists and crack open the faces of her enemies. Then with a soft glow of her hands, she would heal the broken and with blood blinding their eyes, they would open them.

And their smiles would wake her up.

On that morning, she woke with a sense of heroism and found herself  gently laid on the couch, the same blanket draped over her but completely alone in the room.


	2. Ultraviolence

The yelling never stopped.

It _drained_ him.

Each night, it would be a minor comment, or a hinge of frustration that would end in a colossal argument. One that would end with both of them dissolving into their own rooms, and most nights their son would crawl into bed with either one of them.

But never both.

On others, like now — their son held his light blue stuffed rabbit closely in his arms, watching his parents fight with one another, "st….st… _STOP_!"

He was crying now, loud — harsh wheezes that forced Tobirama to pause — face twisted in exasperation. With a guilty sigh, he walked over to pick him up, "I'm sorry Toneri…Did we wake you up?"

His wife stood there, cheeks red from fuming - leaving Tobirama to wonder why couldn't they understand one another.

"Come here Toneri," his mother cooed, leaving the boy to choose between his parents.

A definitive wall stood between them.

The child flinched from them both.

He could remember their first years of dating, their first years of marriage and how much _fun_ they had.

What happened in that time?

His son continued to sob into his bunny, his wife shook her head — ready to grab her coat and leave once agin, "I _know_ you do this on purpose, asshole - don't make him choose!" she seethed, eliciting another hard sob from their son.

"Could you _stop_!" he shot at her, "do you _see_ what you're doing to him?"

Mei scoffed, " _me_? Look at you! As if your temper helps with anything! Don't act like you're innocent in all of this!"

_Temper?_

"I haven't done anything but try and _fix_ things!" he roared, normally stern faces ablaze with contempt for his wife.

Toneri hid his face in his father's shirt, decidedly hiding from their inane shouting, " _Papa_ …" he whimpered, gripping the cloth material until he shook.

The guilt ate him alive.

He couldn't fucking do this anymore.

Not like this.

"Shhh, let's get you to bed," he coddled, ignoring her accusations before he disappeared into the hallway with his son in his arms.

Once in Toneri's room, her shrill yell echoed in the hall, "I want a divorce you _coward_!"

The loud _bang!_ of the front door slamming against the house shook the walls with the ferocity of her anger.

It took everything in him to stop from following after her.

Grabbing his son's favorite bedtime story, he read the words until the remnants of their fight were forgotten by their son.

Gently, he ruffled Toneri's mop of white hair — entirely similar to himself. It was his aunt's pride and joy that Toneri took after him, and a selfish part of him shared that joy.

When he finally got him to sleep, Tobirama set the book down and pressed his palms to his eyes, struggling to keep his composure.

This wasn't healthy, for _anybody_.

Why couldn't they _talk_?

He loved her, he did everything a good husband was supposed to.

So _why_?

Somewhere between their respective careers and their child, it became increasingly more tense.

Tobirama was no fool, as much as his wife may believe so.

He knew the spark faded from her eyes. He couldn't understand what he did to earn her stark resentment, but nothing he did lit up her beautiful cobalt colored eyes. In the last year, it went from generalized disinterest to a fine-tuned loathing.

In an attempt to salvage his marriage — he tried surprising her with a trip to Kyoto, which she claimed she couldn't because her job wouldn't _allow_ her to do so on such short notice. Each day he would surprise her with flowers or show up at her work with food — and in the face of others she would smile brightly and accept his offering, only to return home and scold him for showing up at her job unannounced.

Eventually, he gave up.

In an attempt to keep them civil — the best thing would be to talk, or _attempt_ to talk.

Except, it ended up in a fight each time.

First, there were smart remarks. Then the cold shoulder whenever he tried to ask her what was dissolving their marriage. Soon enough, they were here — railroaded by their anger and responsibilities with the inability to help one another.

It didn't help that she took the initiative in leaving the house, refusing to return home some nights, further confusing Toneri as to why his mother kept forgetting to pick him up or take him to school.

So that night, he decided to call Itama and have him babysit.

Which led him to drinking at the local bar near the university.

Too drunk to try and navigate his way home — his spotty memory barely remembered his aunt's study.

In a grand scheme to sleep off the alcohol — he didn't expect to run into his pink-haired student.

In truth, their conversation in the midst of his drunk stupor, he realized that Mei no longer loved him.

On the surface he had already known this, but it took their conversation to truly _realize_ that the way his wife closed herself off to him wasn't a matter of speculation anymore.

It was the truth.

Perhaps he chose the wrong person to confide in, but the way Sakura's eyes glistened with unshed tears for him and listened with an attentive ear washed away his reservations with the heavy amounts of sake in his blood.

That morning, he lifted her from her uncomfortable position sleeping upright on the desk to set her on the couch and draped the blanket over her small form. She looked so delicate, like a doll with blooming possibilities as the morning sun graced her creamy skin.

He made a mistake.

He knew he had spoken _too_ familiarly with her.

 _Kami_ , he couldn't even remember parts of their conversation.

_What did I say?_

Vaguely, he wondered why she was up late into the night studying so vigorously here and not at her dorm, but didn't want to dwell.

He needed to pick up Toneri and grade a host of exams.

With a drifting look at his student lying on the couch, he left his aunt's study.

xox

When he finally made it home, Mei looked at him as if he had cheated on her when he walked into the kitchen.

"Where were you last night?" she looked at her cellphone with a scowl that seemed to tug on her lips whenever he was around her, "I called you _three_ times last night and you never answered."

Tobirama sighed, "I fell asleep at the University."

The look she shot him spoke volumes of her distrust.

" _Right_ , and you expect me to believe that? Were you _out_ with someone?" the sharp question affronted him, how could she possibly think he would do something like that?

"What kind of man do you think I am?" he rasped, red eyes narrowing in their haste, "I would never do that to you, Mei—" he reached out to grasp her hand, but she snapped it back to her waist, refusing to be touched by him.

She looked away from him, "I need some time away from you. We _all_ do."

He stayed resolute, clenching his jaw in an attempt to calm himself, "what the fuck does that mean?"

Once upon a time, she would look at him with adoration.

Where did his beautiful, outgoing and loving wife disappear to?

The person before him still looked as beautiful as the day he met her, long brown hair swept near her hips, and large blue eyes staring back at him, but they were entirely void of any warmth for him.

A part of him also knew that she probably wouldn't care if he _had_ been out with someone.

"I'll be taking Toneri to my parents for tonight and tomorrow. At least then you won't have to worry about coming home to _us_ ," she struck a chord within him — knowing what to say that would piss him off.

"Are you insinuating that I don't care?" he gripped the chair to sturdy himself. Her apathetic eyes glossed over him. "Considering you're the one that keeps forgetting to come home and rather stay out with your friends, that's hypocritical of you, Mei."

"Take it how you want, we'll be gone by noon."

Tobirama sighed, he couldn't reach her. Why couldn't he _reach_ her?

"At least let me drive you to the station," his peace offering hung in the air, but Mei dismissed him.

"I'd rather just take a taxi."

Instead of fighting, he decided to relent and agree.

What caused him an incredible amount of pain was Toneri mutely packing his toys into his backpack, "Papa…" he murmured when Tobirama sat beside him to help him pack, "do you hate mommy?"

With closed eyes, the teacher tried to wade his way through the waters of their relationship to explain to their child why they fought every night, "…of course not, Pal. I love your mom, and she loves me — you know that."

To the credit of their son, he was much smarter than his given years.

Understandably, he believed their idle lies about their marriage.

But how much was too much?

Toneri hugged him before they left, and with a chaste kiss to his forehead and a forced goodbye to his wife — Tobirama put on a small smile as his son waved at him from the back of the taxi, blue bunny in his arms.

When they left, he clenched his fists.

Anger swirled around him, taking him captive until several holes decorated the walls of their home.

" _Fuck_ ," he hissed - the throbbing of his knuckles served to ease the anger, except now he had to fix it before they returned.

xox

The sound of his aunt and brother laughing heartily in her home never seemed to end.

Seeing as they were both close to being gambling addicts, it made sense.

Not to mention their shared love for a good laugh and sake.

It was easy to figure out who the favorite was in Tsunade's eyes, considering he had always been the more stoic and calculated brother.

He set his shoes by the door and entered into the living room — where three pairs of eyes stared back at him, "ah— _brother_!" Hashirama had to hold his side to subdue his laughter, "we were wondering when you were going to get here."

The face he didn't expect to see was that of his student, staring wide-eyed at him.

Tsunade took another sip of her beer, "I probably should have warned you that Sakura would be here, but if I don't wrench her from my study and the books, I fear I might lose her to over-exertion."

Sakura was still staring at him, except now a bright red hue of color lifted to her face, and shyly she looked away, biting her lip.

Fuck, what did he tell her that night?

"Oh, Sakura — pleasure to see you," he feigned a dismissive attitude and sat himself across from her, and with a split second of recognition, they both knew better than to mention the other night.

"Hi, Tobirama-sensei," she greeted him.

He had to admire her ability to warm his aunt up to her, more often than not most of the med students dropped and left in tears when they enrolled in her program. Tsunade pursed her lips, "and where's my grandson?"

Hashirama kept quiet, knowing how bad it was between himself and Mei — there was little that didn't pass between the two brothers, but seeing as their aunt already didn't care for his wife, they knew better than to bring up the subject.

"Mei took him to her parents for the weekend, they should be coming back tomorrow evening."

Technically, it wasn't a lie.

Hashirama handed him a beer and Tobirama popped it open with the bottle opener sitting idly on the table.

Tsunade scowled, "again? That's the third time this month! I don't even remember the last time I saw Toneri, and why aren't you going with them?"

He sighed, by intuitive nature he could see the path of this conversation, "because I have work, Obaa-chan! You know I'm busy with my courses, and it's  
because her dad is sick."

Alright, _that_ was a lie.

The look of recognition swept over Hashirama, and they both took a quick chug of their beer.

The vein on her forehead started to pulse, "don't call me that, you brat!" she snapped, the flush of her cheeks made it strikingly clear she was going to say whatever she felt, "I never liked that dreaded woman, always too self-absorbed. Always felt like you _owed_ her for marrying you," begrudgingly, she started setting up four sake shots.

Hashirama put up his hands in an attempt to calm the conversation, "Tsuna! This isn't appropriate conversation for Sakura-chan to listen to," the older brother glanced at the medical student, "please forgive our aunt, she tends to say whatever she fee—"

Tsunade waved him off, "she can handle it. If she couldn't I wouldn't want her as an apprentice, isn't that right Sakura?" with an affectionate ruffle of her hair, Sakura felt the embarrassment creep on her shoulders, but she smiled and tried to stop her shishou from pouring her any alcohol.

"It's fine! If you'd like I can go? I don't want to impose on anybo-"

"Nonsense!" Tsunade interrupted, "you're staying here for dinner, if these two dimwits have a problem with it they can leave, I like you better than them anyways."

The very transparent fact that their aunt always wanted a daughter bled through the obvious favoritism with her apprentice.

The night continued on.

Tobirama remained relatively quiet, but he had to sit back in wonderment how the shy girl in his class fit into the conversation between his aunt and brother so easily, animated and lively in their presence. She had the wit to come back at his aunt, and was a well-rounded conversationalist, not to mention she had Hashirama in stitches — although that wasn't particularly hard to do.

Many times, he found himself forgetting about the issues at home, and _laughed_.

Between the lively banter, food, and beer — he found himself at ease for the first time in months that weren't self-indulgent nights of him getting drunk alone at the bar near the university.

By the time midnight rolled around, Sakura checked her phone and coughed — "oh no, I have to go. I think I missed the last train back."

Tsunade glanced at her watch and whistled, "wow! Already midnight, I'm sorry Sakura I should have taken you home sooner — let me find my keys—"

When she stood, the world seemed to spin and Tsunade sat herself back down, "I can't drive — Hashirama, take her—"

The eldest brother shook his head, "I'm sorry, obaa-chan, I'm as drunk as you are!"

Sakura put on a hesitant smile, "it's ok! I can walk from here, it's only a couple of miles. " To not be a bother, she started to collect her belongings, but their adamant aunt refused.

"No, I will not let my apprentice walk the city streets this late! Who knows what punks are out there at this hour, Tobirama you're usually a bore — can you drive?"

Said nephew frowned - causing Hashirama and Sakura to laugh.

Ignoring the dastardly duo, he shifted to his feet, "sure, Obaa-chan — come, Sakura."

Together, they said their goodbyes to the two drunk individuals left in the house.

With a harsh threat from Tsunade about Sakura's safe return home and Tobirama's promise to get her home, they left.

They entered the car, and Sakura sat herself in the passenger seat — Tobirama debated whether to bring up the other night, thoroughly sullen that he omitted so much to an unsuspecting student.

For the first portion of the ride, they both shared in the uneasiness spread in the car.

"Sakura…About the other night," he started, gripping the steering wheel tightly, "looks like I'm apologizing a second time for over stepping my boundaries."

To her credit, she smiled to herself, and then him, "what about the other night? You didn't do anything wrong, Sensei — I…I'm _glad_ you confided in me, it isn't healthy to keep everything internalized."

Maybe he didn't do anything out of line?

"That may be true, but you are my student, and there are boundaries. I'm sorry for having said or done anything that made you uncomfortable. It's unacceptable behavior—"

The light sound of her laughter rang around the car, "are you always this hard on yourself, Sensei?"

With the city lights passing them, her sea foam eyes sparkled up at him, and he swept his eyes over her full lips.

Kami, she was an extremely pretty girl.

He cleared his throat to straighten himself, "discipline is good, it stops people from doing things they may…Regret."

She puffed her cheek out, tossing the statement around in her head, "is it? I think there needs to be a fair amount of discipline, but other times I wonder if _too_ much discipline causes more problems."

_What is she saying?_

"Seeing as your studying into the late hours of the night, are you sure you're one to talk about casting aside discipline?" he meant for it to sound friendly, but his hard voice always sounded accusatory.

For a moment she wilted, affronted by his words — but she quickly recovered, "so you remember our conversation, then?"

He wish he did, but the fuzzy black spots wouldn't tie together for him, "I remember that you were studying, and I remember mentioning my…Marriage — but that's it."

Something within her dimmed, but he had never been inclined to the thoughts of females — and he didn't want to dwell on the inclinations of his _student._

She put on a faux smile, "well, if you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm here for you Sensei."

Why did he feel guilty?

"Sakura…Did I… _Do_ anything to you the other night?" he asked tentatively, afraid of the answer.

She bit her lip, catching his eye.

"No," she murmured silkily, "you just spoke of your wife, Sensei."

He could sniff the lie from here.

"Tell me the truth," his authoritative voice shook the young student.

He could see the secret she didn't want to give to him, and he couldn't imagine why she would want to keep this information to herself, "….you played with my hair and called me pretty." A flustered look crossed her pretty features and she tried to downplay the situation, "but don't worry! It wasn't weird or anything, you were just a little drunk."

Absently, she toyed with the light locks of her hair nervously.

 _Shit_ — he did that to her?

And again, she chewed on her lower lip, tugging on the plump skin all too enticingly.

Did she know what she was doing when she did that?

It infuriated and confused him that he felt something surge hot surge within him when she did that.

"Stop that."

She looked up at him, lips parting in a gasp, "stop what?"

He felt frustrated. On a slight buzz from their previous engagement, angry with his situation at home, and with this confusing student of his that looked at him so tenderly and her genuine concern for his wellbeing, it confused him.

_Student._

_Your student._

"Nothing," he muttered, forcing himself to focus on the road.

If he looked at her like this now with a thread of sobriety in him, he couldn't imagine what he had done when he was drunk the other night. Dressed in her uniform, he noted the way her skirt rid up as she sat, stirring a sparked hunger within him in that wasn't innocent. Guilt conflicted him, and part of him worried for the outcome of his decisions — he kept an extremely strict teacher and student relationship.

"Sakura, how old are you?"

The question caught her off guard, but she peered at the road that stretched in front of them, "I turn twenty next month."

 _Nineteen_ , he groaned internally.

At the ripe age of thirty-one, he felt like a pervert.

He remained silent, and she seemed content to sit in their silence, hands folded properly over her lap — after a while she finally spoke up, "Sensei?"

Tobirama looked over her again, watching the changing expressions on her face — he couldn't imagine why someone with limitless possibilities in the world and a brain such as hers could possibly worry about anything, but the look of fear tugged at her face.

The silence dragged on before she spoke.

"I'm in love with you — I have been for a long time."

Time slowed.

He rolled up to the designated dormitory parking lot, unsure if he heard her correctly.

A sad, wry smile graced her face, "I probably shouldn't tell you this, but I want you to know. I think it's only fair, and don't worry — I would never impose on your relationship…And I can't imagine you ever returning my feelings, but just know that I would _never_ say anything to anyone, I would never risk your job. So the other night stays between us."

She collected her things slowly, and he could see the heartbreak on her lips due to his silence.

Instinctively, her hand drew up to her chest.

Tears brimmed her vision, and strangely enough she smiled through it, "but you were right, it hurts to love someone you know doesn't love you back."

With a small bow, she left his car, the small whisper of a _thank you_ hung in the air as she left.

xox

He hated himself.

He hated himself for envisioning his student sprawled on the bed in front of him, bent over clutching for his sheets.

" _Sak-!_ "

The normally self-restrained, stoic man he grew up to be lost it when he came that night, his cum soiling his hand as he struggled to regain his composure after his orgasm.

xox

She wasn't in class for the next week.

Admittedly, he didn't want to concern himself with his student, but protocol required him to find out her whereabouts.

With a hesitant call, Tsunade answered with a gruff, "what, Tobirama?— I'm in the middle of something."

He sighed, in the background he could hear the ringing of the slot machines, "you're obviously at the casino. Do you know where Sakura is? She hasn't been in my class at all this week."

_You know why._

Tsunade paused on the phone, he could hear her concern, "that's not like her. I was with her yesterday for our class — let me get ahold of her."

And just like that, his aunt hung up the phone.

After their parents passed away, their traveling aunt tied herself down to Tokyo to raise the three boys of her brother, some days they felt guilty of robbing her of her time to have children of her own, but she would claim that children were never for her after her ex husband died — so she loved them as her own.

Tobirama stared at the empty seat Sakura usually occupied, envisioning the sullen eyes that resembled his own.

He would need to speak with her.

xox

The house was eerily calm.

Toneri fell asleep in front of the TV, with a gentle smile — the only highlight of his day was spending time with his starlight haired child. Picking him up, he took him to his room and set him down — pulling the covers up until the four year old nestled in the blankets.

A comforting smile placated his day.

The innocence displayed in his child's face made things easier.

With a kiss to his forehead, Tobirama retired to his room.

Mei must have decided to take a nap and fallen asleep by accident because she still wore her work clothes. The light sound of her breathing put him at ease compared to the cold shoulder she offered him each day, and with a small nudge, Mei blinked back her sleep after waking.

At the sight of him, for a _small, brief_ moment the doting woman in _love_ with him returned — but after registering who woke her up, the tight lipped frown adorned her face again.

 _It hurts to love someone who doesn't love you back_ , did he say that in his drunken stupor?

 _"_ I fell asleep by accident," she defended herself with a tired yawn and sat upright.

_Does she really think I would be mad about that?_

Tobirama kept still, "…I wasn't accusing you of anything," he paused, trying to grasp the right words to carefully navigate their conversation away from another fight, "I already put Toneri to bed."

His wife pursed her lips, "thanks," she said simply.

_What is this between us?_

She stood to get ready for bed, walking past him — only to stop when he pulled her close.

She stiffened in his arms, and gently his hands worked her shoulders, knowing how she loved this. Slowly, to make sure she didn't run — he moved to brush her hair off of the nape of her neck, his lips gently settled on the familiar curve of her skin, settling himself behind her.

Instinctively, she pulled away with a sour face, "not tonight," she murmured, refusing to look at him.

He sighed, "then when? You never let me touch you, let alone you don't look at me," he wanted to snap. He wanted to reach her, he wanted her _back_ — but with cold, dark eyes, she turned from him and left to their bathroom.

In bed that night, with a wall of emotion between them, Tobirama stared into the darkness in front of him, "do you still love me?"

He waited

Her silence spoke louder than words ever could — and for a moment he thought Mei had fallen asleep, until he felt her shake beside him, silently crying. Finally, she murmured a small, "…I don't know."

_It hurts to love someone who doesn't love you back._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, leave a comment and let me know what you think ~~


	3. Sad Girl

_Tokyo Medical University_

Tsunade glared at her apprentice, "what is wrong with you today?"

The med student looked up from the fake cadaver, scalpel in hand, "sorry, Shisou — I just haven't been feeling well lately."

_More like mortally embarrassed._

After admitting her biggest secret, Sakura couldn't bring herself to go to his class for a week — perfect attendance be damned. Her teacher frowned, it was Friday again — nearly a week since she told Tobirama-sensei that she _loved_ him.

_Why?!_

Each night it kept her up burrowing into her blankets, wondering _why_ she would do that? He looked so _vulnerable_ — she knew he was worried about his job, about what he might have said or done the other night when he was drunk, but she wanted him to understand that she wouldn't do that to him.

"Sakura!" Tsunade snapped — Sakura glanced up, the hard edge in Tsunade's voice served as a reminder of how badly she was distracted, "we're done for today. I think you need to go home and rest, and you _better_ go to class on Monday — understood?"

The threat was enough to send a chill down her spine.

xox  
_Tokyo Medical University_  
_Dormitory_

Karin shoved past her shoulder with a hard sneer, pushing up her glasses with her middle finger, "seriously? Could you move — I have a date tonight," the redhead announced proudly.

It wasn't in Sakura to pry into other people's lives, especially someone as _rude_ as her roommate, but curiosity perked her attention, "really? Who's the _lucky_ guy?"

Karin missed her sarcasm, because she sat on the opposite end of her bed brushing her long red hair, suddenly gushing, "his name is Suigetsu. He's tall and kind of an asshole, but he's cute."

For the first time since arriving at this school, Sakura felt a tinge of a bond with another student, "how did you meet him?"

Karin mulled over the question, "some mutual friends. He doesn't go to the university, but I got introduced by my best friend Juugo." A delighted smile played on her roommate's face, and Sakura briefly wondered if she looked like that when she thought of her sensei.

As the redhead left, before she exited the door — she glanced at Sakura on the bed with a tidal wave of books surrounding her and pursed her lips, guilt consuming her, "do you want to go shopping tomorrow?"

In near disbelief at the proposition, the pinkette lifted her head after a few seconds to process the invitation and smiled brightly, "yeah, that would be fun."

xox  
_Historia Cafe_

Instead of staying in her dorm for _another_ weekend night — Sakura decided to study at a nearby cafe, on cloud nine after Karin's invitation, she almost forgot about her confession. Maybe this would be a turning point for her in this big city with even bigger personalities than her.

She wanted to call Ino and tell her everything that happened, but on a Friday night back in their town she was probably out at a party or on one of her many dates she dedicated her weekend to, and although Sakura never cared for parties — the nostalgia for her friends hurt.

Nose deep in her anatomy textbook for Tobirama-sensei's class, she failed to notice the familiar figure walk inside the small cafe and order a coffee.

Particularly, a white-haired male with his laptop bag and a stack of exams to grade.

It wasn't until she felt a commanding presence beside her that Sakura slowly glanced up the tall male body and landed on the overtly and unfairly handsome face of her sensei.

" _Ah_ -!"

"I see you're catching up on all the work you missed this week," he eyed her textbook, and with an obscure blush she hesitantly laughed.

"Sorry, Sen—"

"Don't apologize." He paused for a moment, only to motion to her seat, "do you mind if I sit?"

Sakura could feel the nervousness creep in, knowing that not only had she avoided his class _because_ of her confession, but she didn't want the humiliation of him lecturing her as to why it's wrong to skip class.

The immaturity she displayed ran circles in her mind, and she didn't want to be even more mortified by her behavior.

She knew wholeheartedly that she fell in love with a married man. It would _never_ happen, and part of her thought it would fade with time.

With a small nod of her head, she glanced around — this cafe was normally empty, save for a few people working on their laptops, completely unaware of the two people sitting in the corner.

"Do you come to this cafe often?" he asked her after the waiter showed up and set his coffee down on his side of the table with a friendly smile.

Sakura nervously sipped her tea, "sort of, I like it because it's quiet — and they have really good tea."

He bristled, and being the observant person she was — she could clearly see he was going to mention _it,_ and to save herself from embarrassment — she cut him off, "I want to apologize, Tobirama-sensei. I shouldn't have told you my feelings the other night. I just wanted you to understand that I would _never_ do anything to get you in trouble, but I never meant to put you into an uncomfortable position due to my—"

"Sakura."

_I'm rambling, aren't I?_

"Yes?" she peeped, cheeks as pink as her hair.

He laughed, soft yet deep and in a way that made her heart flutter.

"What did I say about apologizing? You shouldn't need to apologize for how you feel, and I don't want you skipping out on your classes. You're smarter than that." Somehow, he held the stern rigidness in his voice that she was accustomed to, but tinted with a tenderness that melted her.

Confusion came first, and Sakura set down her pencil, "you're not mad?"

He smirked, "no, it's endearing. But you know I'm married."

She flushed, and as a reminder his wedding band winked at her when he took another drink, "I know."

"You're also my student."

"Yes, Sensei."

He leaned forward, coffee in hand, "I shouldn't have led you on," he finally admitted.

Sakura sighed, "you didn't. I…This started a long time ago." She kept her hands folded in her lap, and subconsciously played with the hem of her skirt.

"Why?" he kept his eyes trained on her, and Sakura had never felt _penetrated_ by a gaze before — but he smoldered her with his presence.

She couldn't grasp the correct words, "…first it started with how you taught us, and how you seemed to really care about your students. Your eyes used to light up during your lectures…And I was attracted to that, I guess. Plus…." Kami, she couldn't say it.

" _Plus_?"

_Why is he doing this to me?_

"Plus…You're handsome," she uttered the words quickly, hoping she spoke fast enough so that he didn't hear her. She swore she could _feel_ her cheeks match the color of her hair.

Her sensei moved his leg, and briefly their knees touched — eliciting the smallest gasp from the student. He watched her evenly, gauging her reaction. She pulled her eyes away, unsure if this was a scolding or not.

He didn't move his knee, allowing them to touch — her heart was going to explode out of her chest any minute, in turn she pinched her pink lip between her teeth.

"Sakura," he breathed deeply, keeping his attention trained on her damnable habit, "what did I tell you about biting your lip the other night when I took you home?"

For a brief second she could _sense_ it, the forecast of his need — how his voice thickened and _everything_ about him was solely focused on her.

She clenched her thighs to socket the sinful thought and dared to keep their gazes level, "…what about it?"

"Unless you want me stop you myself, don't tempt me by biting your lip," his husky voice built a warmth between her legs, and she immediately pursed her lips — breaking the spell between them.

"Sen—"

"You can call me Tobirama outside of class."

Sakura gulped, unsure how to handle this.

"Ok, Tobirama," she tested the informality of his name on her lips gingerly. The syllables glided off of her tongue. It felt… _Nice._

"Morever," he concluded, dissuading them from the deter of temptation, "I'm concerned with your grades. You failed your last exam."

The student blanched, — _failed?!_

" _How_?" she begged for an answer, "I studied that material — that's impossible."

It enamored him to know that she could break free of her shy chains when it revolved around her grades, with a slight smirk and laugh, he pulled out her exam, "I'm kidding. I thought it would be interesting to see how you'd react — turns out I was right."

He set it in front of her, and the familiar _100%_ written at the top allowed her to breathe again.

Except now, she glared at him, gently nicking his shin with her foot, "that wasn't funny!"

Her Sensei paused to take another sip of his coffee, beaming at her frustration, "not for _you_."

She wanted to burst, unappreciative to be the source of his amusement, but found the light tone in his demeanor similar to the man that first started teaching her. For once, other than the other night at her shishou's home, he seemed… _Relieved._

"Good to know my anguish is funny to you," she grumbled politely, but brought her sleeve to cover her face as she stifled a small laugh, finding herself _giggling_ of all things - body trying to reign her laughter.

Then they're both laughing, teacher and student that shouldn't find the other so humorous are beside themselves, and her leg is innocently moving against his.

Somewhere deep within her, she wanted to pull the happiness out of him.

In the time of arriving to Tokyo, his smile lightened her days.

"Sakura," he distracted her by the brush of her leg with his own.

Blinking curiously at him, she stammered for a response, "yes?"'

"You're beautiful when you smile," he complimented, earning him the small squeak and tilt of her lips that causes her face to glow.

He _should_ leave.

She _should_ leave.

They stay.

Sakura glanced away, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear, "Sensei…" she murmured out of habit, "…don't say such embarrassing things."

The male paused, "why not?" he breathed lowly, wanting _something_ — but unsure himself of what it was.

She looked at him from across the table, confused by his attention when he made it abundantly clear in the beginning that he was married. It pained her, but she was a selfish girl and enjoyed his presence, "…because it isn't fair."

The question of _what_ hung in the air.

In response, his handsome face glinted with curiosity, "what if we made it fair?"

_Wha..?_

Her cheeks burn, and the innuendo is nearly lost on her, "…how?" she wonders.

The line they're dangerously close to touching is drawn, each dipping their toes in the water to test what they're comfortable with.

In the time of this conversation, both individuals leaned close to each other —attention transfixed, bodies magnetically inching to touch, "let me show you," he murmurs heavily, the scarlet color of his eyes glides over the expanse of her cheeks, noting the freckles peppered across her nose — roseatte lips parted in fascination, and the smooth dip of her neck.

He's crossed the line like a man scorned.

Still, in the time that she left his vehicle — this young woman took over his daily grievances.

And for some reason, he's becoming a feeble addict to her smile that glitters when she laughs.

Sakura is in a daze.

With their legs touching, and his eyes consuming her — this is playing like a dream.

It's too much.

She could kiss him right now.

He's tempting her, _knowing_ how much she loves him.

As a reminder, she flicks her gaze to his wedding band — proudly displayed for the world that he belongs to his _wife_. It pains her, and it sickens her to know that she's _that_ kind of girl. One that would be willing to kiss a married man, or even _thinks_ about kissing a married man with children.

"But…" she breathes softly, unsure how to voice her concern.

_Could I?_

It terrifies her.

Abruptly, Sakura begins to gather her things, disgusted with herself, "I have to go, Sen…Tobirama," she gushes quickly, moving as if her hands were burning to collect her homework and stuff it into her bag.

He doesn't say anything, but sits back in his seat — digesting what just transpired.

Before he can get a word in, Sakura is almost bolting away, books hugged to her chest, but it's his hand on her wrist that stops her, "—you were right," he admits with finality, "…it hurts when you love someone that doesn't love you back."

The clear memory of his wife admitting it ruined something within him, his perspective on what love and loyalty means hazardously skewed.

The young girl looks down at the man sitting that she came to admire from afar…His eyes forlorn and trained on table in front of him, Sakura can't help but think of how _sad_ he looks.

For a moment, she sees a broken man.

And it _kills_ her to see him like this.

Ever the savior as she is in her dreams, she gently loosens her wrist from his grasp. Instead of letting their contact fall, Sakura glides her hand to grip his own, lacing their fingers together to give him a reassuring squeeze, causing the grown man to look up at her. Both disregarded the strangers within the cafe, torn in the fragility of what they were inching towards.

"You told me that the other night, and I can't help but think that you also make me _happy_ , Sensei. Without knowing it-" she pauses, struggling to keep her composure, hiding herself behind her pink bangs, "you're my motivation."

The softness in her voice is miles away compared to the shrill, clipped tones of his wife — and Tobirama smooths his thumb over the back of her hand, lost in her doe-eyed innocence, "then I want you to keep smiling—"

As expected, his words light up her pretty face.

"—For me."

xox

_Tokyo Medical University  
Dormitory_

For the first time in a long time, Sakura wakes up with a smile on her face.

Nearly jumping out of bed to get ready for her day with Karin — she falters for a second when she notices the lack of a body on the adjacent bed across the room.

 _'_ _She must have spent the night with that guy or something,_ ' she wonders vaguely — deciding not to worry for now.

After her shower, she brushes out her mid-length silvery locks, deciding to braid her hair down the length of her back. Having mulled over an outfit choice for half of yesterday, Sakura slips on a red sweater and a black skirt, the sweater hugging the light curves of her body and the skirt accentuated her long legs — complimented by black thigh highs and the ribbon in her hair that Ino gifted to her.

Happy with her appearance — Sakura grabs her phone to see if Karin called, but as expected — nothing.

So she waits.

Boredom gets the best of her and she cleans the dorm.

And the bathroom.

And it's when the sun is hanging high in the mid-day sky and she's reorganizing her book collection that Sakura decides to call her roommate.

Only to be pushed to voicemail, leaving Sakura with a small frown.

_-Hey, are we still on for today?_

Sakura grips her cellphone after sending the text, sighing to herself — slowly seeing the writing on the wall.

"She ditched me," she murmurs sadly to herself in the empty expanse of their dorm room.

Another hour later when she hasn't received a text back — Sakura gives up and decides to start studying.

That night, when she should be out with friends — she's already finished with her assignments for the next week, and even finished memorizing four of the chapters that her shishou assigned her for their next session.

Right as the burn of her eyes starts to numb her studying, Karin bursts through the door with a large grin on her face — eyes glossed over as her hand is laced with a random boy's with breathtaking violet eyes.

Upon seeing her, Karin stops, using the wall to steady herself, "oh, _you're_ here," she sneers, pushing up her glasses with her free hand.

Sakura turns to face the duo, understanding now why she was ditched, "what happened to you?"

The redhead waves her off, "I lost track of time and forgot — we can go some other day."

"Is that why you ignored my phone calls too?" she snaps, the edge in her voice sparking something within her fiery roommate.

"What are you? My mom? I can choose to not answer your stupid phone calls if I want. I _didn't_ want to hang out with you, it's that simple," Karin shoots back, tugging the silvery-haired male inside with her.

"—I'm going to need you to leave," Karin snarks once more, earning her a sharp snort from Sakura.

"Yeah, right."

" _Leave!_ " she yells.

Sakura debates internally for a millisecond before the random male starts pulling away, "hey, we can go back to my place?" he suggests mutually, trying to deter the fight between the two girls.

 _"_ _No,_ " the redhead snaps, "she can leave! She's just mad I didn't hang out with her today."

There's a strange silence that emits from Sakura as she sinks into herself, already exhausting most of her courage to fight back. Tears threaten to surface from the exchange, "what did I ever do to you…?" Sakura pans, voice shaky — _trying_ to channel Ino's strength.

"Ugh, are you _really_ going to cry about this?" Karin calls out, leading the male with her to drop her hand.

"You don't have to be such a bitch, Karin," the male looks past her and glances at Sakura, a small, apologetic frown on his lips before turning his back.

"Wait! You're leaving?" she questions, hands forcefully fisted at her sides.

"Yeah, I don't want to be apart of this. I'm out," he finishes, shrugging her off as she grips his shoulder, equally annoyed with her behavior.

Once he leaves and Karin chases after him — Sakura brushes away the few stray that roll down her cheeks, but the loud screeching of her roommate startles her when she returns, "what the hell is your problem!"

The door slams, and the pinkette jumps at the sudden commotion.

"Why couldn't you just _leave!"_ Karin nearly screams at her, "you're always _so_ annoying!"

Sakura stands, hands weakly gripped into the material of her shirt, "why are you so mean to me?" she questions, not understanding _why_ she was always treated so horribly by people.

"Because you're weird!" she screeches, "you're quiet and awkward and _nobody_ likes you! I got stuck with you and your ugly country accent! The only thing you're good for is copying homework off of! Nobody wants to hang out with the scrawny small town girl, ok? I felt sorry for you yesterday, that's it!" Karin emptied the distance in their dorm and pushes her back into her seat, and Sakura nearly tumbles but catches herself on the desk.

At this, Sakura loses her voice.

"God, you're so ugly too it's no wonder you freak out whenever I bring a guy around because I know you're just _jealous_ that no guy ever wants anything to do with you," she finishes, her chest heaving from the shoveling of truth.

Tears freely roll down flushed cheeks.

Caged in herself, the flood of memories of her childhood rush in — leaving her paralyzed to try and fight back.

_Why?_

_Say something!_

_Say something!_

All she can do is shake, her insecurities puublically tossed into the air, voiced by her roommate. These same thoughts that strangled the energy from her now stared at her, laughing at her because it's the _truth_.

Karin snorts, fixing her glasses — a goading smirk proudly displayed on her face, arms crossed defensively over her chest, "and you can't even defend yourself. You're so pathetic I almost feel bad for you."

A small, choked sob escapes the young girl before she leaves, quickly grabbing a coat and her cell phone before disappearing — the scent of alcohol permeating the air around her roommate. At the intrusion of fresh air at the back of the dormitory, Sakura brings her hand to her mouth to silence the sobs that quake her slender form.

Eyes burning, she sits herself against a wall, crouched and steadying herself to breathe, shoulders involuntarily shaking from the ordeal.

With cold fingers, she calls her best friend.

Trying to reign her crying, Ino picks up on the final ring, "Sakuraaaaa!" Ino squeals happily over the phone, "I was gonna call you earlier but oh my — I have so much to tell you, Forehead!"

A small window of relief allows the pinkette to calm down, but instead of noticing her quivering voice, Ino starts rambling, "Sai and I got together! Isn't that so crazy? I know I used to say he was weird or whatever, but he's a _really_ good fu—"

The phone gets pulled, and in the background Sakura can hear the party — the multitude of voices, the music, and loud cheering of familiar faces that she would probably be seeing right now if she decided to stay home instead leave everyone for this stupid city.

"Sorry, Sakura — it's Sai. Ino is really drunk right now, she almost dropped her phone. I'll let her know to call you tomorrow." After another profuse apology, and before Sakura can get a word in, he hangs up.

Leaving her alone with her thoughts and tear stained face.

_Ino and Sai…?_

Truthfully, she saw that coming before they graduated.

Sai was a good guy, but Ino didn't want a steady boyfriend at the time.

It brings a jolt of happiness to Sakura, and she wipes away more of her budding tears, sniffling away the harsh words of her roommate.

The sharp pain stabbing through her chest is still suffocating.

Quickly, she dials Naruto's number.

All she needs is to hear his familiar raspy voice.

Closing her eyes, she prays that he answers — he would know what to say, he always cheered her up, even noticing the step in her gait if she was upset over something.

Except it goes to voicemail.

She lets the phone drop to her lap, giving up.

A few dreadful minutes alter, it lights up with a text message notification.

_-Sorry i didn't answer sakura-chan. I'm watching a movie with Hinata._

It stuns her into complacency to gaze her eyes over the message.

Another minute later -

_-Is everything ok?_

Once the shock is registered, a rueful smile graces her lips, happy for both of her friends finding someone they could be with.

Hinata loved Naruto since they were kids, so it only makes sense.

Still — on the day she was packing her bags to leave for Tokyo, she couldn't help but remember the way that Naruto begged her to stay, tears in both of their eyes as they said goodbye to each other, the promise of a future on their lips.

Neither of them acted on it.

They chose to keep their friendship.

_Why does this hurt so much?_

_-I'm ok, just wanted to say hi — call me when you can._

As expected, she doesn't receive a text back.

In the dropping temperatures of the night, it's close to midnight when Sakura works up the energy to go back to her dorm, resigned to staying quiet and hoping they just avoid each other. In the silence of their dorm, Karin is gone — probably to stay the night with that boy she brought earlier.

Crawling her tired limbs into bed, she doesn't cry — but replays the harsh words in a vicious cycle that Karin thwarted over her, and the countless times her personality was castrated at the hands of the kids she grew up with.

Sleep scarcely comes.

xox

_Tokyo Medical University_

_I want you to keep smiling — for me._

The cafe seems like a distant place compared to the last couple of days she had. Not wanting to bother her friends back at home, Sakura kept to herself — _hoping_ either Ino or Naruto would take the initiative to call her, but was left sorely disappointed.

Either way, she gears herself for class — excited for the opportunity to see her sensei again.

Her heart drums blood to her normally cool limbs, fluttering excitement in her energetic journey to class.

At least she had _one_ thing to look forward to.

Entering the quiet classroom and taking her usual seat in the back, there are a couple of whispers from the neighboring students. Sakura glances at them hesitantly, wondering why they were suddenly giggling and looking away from her. They whisper behind her back, continuting their laughing - and she can't do anything but try and ignore them, shading herself from them with her hair.

 _Karin must have said something_ , she groans internally — wondering what lies were perpetuating themselves around her now.

Slightly sinking into her seat, it's rare to not see Tobirama's familiar mop of white hair with him sitting at his desk, reading either the paper or a book waiting for their class to gather. In fact, it's even _more_ odd that the auditorium is filling up and he's still not here.

Sakura thrums her fingers impatiently against the desk, glancing at the clock every few minutes — until it's ten past and some students already decided to take this opportunity to leave.

Another five minutes and he bursts through the door at the front of the class, tie in disarray and large, dark bags from lack of sleep accentuating his handsome face. She sits up in her seat to get a better look at him, but he glosses over his student's faces and apologizes.

"Sorry for being late, today I want everyone to get into groups after the lecture to study for the exam later this week, got it?" his sturdy voice is raspy, as if he were recovering from a cold. Quietly, Sakura wonders what could have possibly happened to make him look like this.

Selfishly, she hopes that he looks in her direction — but the lecture follows without so much as a spare glance towards her.

As always, the invisibility of her presence is pushed back onto her.

_I wonder if he's ok..._

Throughout the lecture, Sakura notices the small cues in his demeanor.

The slow way he explains the material.

The sharp annoyance with the people trying to text on their phone.

"Why don't you get out of my classroom if you're going to be on the phone," he quips darkly at one of the boys in the front. The boy rolls his eyes and rudely grabs his stuff, parading out of the classroom and sneering at their moody sensei.

It entices a wave of murmurs.

Tobirama rubs his temple, deciding to gather himself before continuing, "break off into groups, that's enough for today."

And then he's leaving through the front of the classroom to go to his office, shoulders tense as his phone begins to ring.

A frown mars her lips, _wanting_ to help him.

Avoiding the groups that have already sectioned her off to be alone, each group engrossed in their conversations — void of actually talking about the material, Sakura escapes the suffocating room through the back, rounding her steps through the halls to reach the back room that leads to his office.

"What the fuck is your problem?" she hears him hiss into his phone once she reaches the large door.

Quietly, the petite woman presses herself against the door.

"You can't just do that! I have _work!"_

_Should I knock?_

She waits, the sound of him pacing back and forth in the room scares her.

_This is a bad idea._

"What do you _want_ from me, Mei? I'm trying to make this fucking work!" his voice is raising, loud and booming — concealed by the loud chatter of his classroom two rooms over. Sakura debates internally, not wanting to step in on such a private conversation.

"Leave Toneri out of this! And you better not take him with you again or I swear to god I'll call the cops!"

Steeling herself, it's in this moment that Sakura gently opens the door and lets herself in, peaking her head into the room.

He doesn't notice at first, but the brash yelling through his cellphone chills the room as she steps in, gaze tracing over his angry form.

It's the slow _click_ of the door closing that shakes him out of his conversation. Flippantly turning in her direction, about to berate whoever stepped into the room — but stops short when he notices his concerned student staring at him, brows etched in worry.

Sakura pulls at the pleats of her skirt, immediately regretting her decision to intrude on him.

"Listen, I have to—" he tries to break away from argument, but a final yell from his wife into the phone forces him to wrench it away from his ear.

"-Mei?"

The dial tone is the last malleable piece of her sensei.

He chucks the phone at the wall, the ferocity of his anger sourced in his throw.

"Shit," he growls.

The phone falls to the floor, screen shattered and in several pieces.

A small dent is left in the wall, and Sakura stays rooted to her spot.

Tears lift to her eyes.

Empathy shared for a man she doesn't _truly_ know.

He runs a tense hand through his unruly hair, the stability of his mind is quickly shattering — broken like his marriage, and it's almost _funny_ how far he's allowed this to run away from him.

Sakura traces blurry eyes over his face, the same face that lit up during their lectures — the same face that wanted clarity, the same face that smiled so easily at her. Yet here in his office, she sees a tired, weary man on the verge of losing the essence of who he was.

She can't stand it.

Clearing the gap between them, the young girl runs toward the man she's inevitably fallen so deeply for and wraps her arms around him, stuffing her face into his shirt, " _please_ stop," she whimpers.

Slim fingers feebly grip onto the material of his shirt. It's a sad attempt to calm him down. She knows this.

Her proximity stuns Tobirama, because he doesn't move at first. It takes him time to adjust to the young woman clinging to him, and somewhere in him there's the voice of rationality telling him to stop her, but she's so soft and the scent of her subtle lavender shampoo is enough to secure him.

Quietly, long seconds roll by like thunderous clouds — shaking the foundation of their budding relationship.

Eventually, he stops the fight.

His shoulders ease in their tensity and he grips her and wraps his arms around her, inviting her shoulder to help carry his burden. Large, safe arms circle their way around her petite body, his hand losing itself in the thickness of her hair — and soon he's drawing her incredibly close.

There, in the silence of his office — they share their first embrace.

She inhales his intoxicating scent, cinnamon and _earth_.

It's so comforting and _real._

A strong hand draws her head back, allowing them to look through the window pane of their existence.

Unbid tears still well in her eyes, and a sad frown tugs at his lips, guilt eating at him for being the cause of her tears.

"Why are you crying for me?" he asks in a grounded whisper.

Sakura closes her eyes, and the tears skim across her cheeks, "…because I love you."

It's the simplicity of her statement, and the sweet conviction of her words that causes him to kiss her.

A soft yet entirely haunting kiss that burns slowly in the pits of their souls.

Tobirama pulls her closer, their bodies flush together.

Their lips are igniting a flame.

Tender at first, it begins to consume them.

It causes goosebumps to graze her skin, and she nips at his lower lip, clenching his shirt in her hands. A low, husky hum vibrates from his chest and soon it's not enough. No, _no_ — they need _more_.

He pushes his tongue into her mouth, exploring her cavern and Sakura loses herself in this moment, her body electric with his touch. She mewls gently into his mouth, and he's suffocating her but she's scraping her tongue against his, pulling away to bite his lower lip, earning her a smoldering gaze. More, _more_. The severity of his fight has him breaking, cracks in his frayed logic are only perpetuated as his young student curves her body to his, _tempting_ him further.

It's still not enough.

Habitually, she bites her lip.

She tugs on her pouty lower lip and cerise eyes are transfixed.

Soon enough he's descended on his student again, addicted to her responsive body and the slight arch in her back, his hands move - capturing either side of her sweet face and he starts walking them back to his desk.

There's a classroom full of students that could curiously come to his office, but those thoughts are adrift as Sakura sits herself on his desk, moaning into his mouth.

Inhibitions forgone, the weight of their actions is nothing compared to the heat between them.

The stir of his cock pools in his loins.

Sakura wraps her arms delicately around his neck, lips bruised from their searing kiss, legs parted to reveal her white panties beneath her black skirt — stockings hugging her toned, creamy thighs.

Exposed for him, the dampness collecting on her underwear and heady whimpers as he kisses her is enough to make him spiral.

He could fuck her right now.

The thought of pulling her panties to the side and taking everything from her to satisfy them is enough to test his willpower. But he can't do that to her. He could, and it would temporarily satisfy the pain of what they wanted to cover, but he couldn't use her like that. Tobirama didn't want to see the glistening sparkle of her eye ruined because of his selfish actions.

So he pulls away.

Cold air touches her skin when he pulls away, panting and running his hand over his mouth — disbelief perpetuating his normally rigid face. Sakura reaches forward, gripping the sleeve of his shirt "I—"

Sakura can't find the words to explain what just happened.

They don't speak, and he sees the fear of rejection clear in her expression.

Terrified he might run from her, shaming them both for their actions.

To ease them both, and avoid looking at the inviting young woman in front of him, he closes the distance once more to place a kiss atop of her delicate pink head, lulling her into another close embrace.

It's the rising commotion in the neighboring classroom that douses them with reality.

Neither want to leave, isolated in a room where two adults understand one another.

Except, they don't.

They would never understand eachother, and Tobirama knows this. She's _nineteen,_ his student, and the ramnfiications for his family if they were to get caught would get him fired. Still, he can't bring himself to pull away from her.

He doesn't _want_ to pull away from her.

"Sensei, you're thinking too much, I can almost here you, " she says softly, studying his face flickering with varied emotions. How is she so in tune with his thoughts? How can she be so calm in the face of what they just did?

He can't say anything, but looks down at his pretty student who holds a world of admiration in her eyes.

It's her smile that calms him.

She leans forward to kiss him again, soft and light and lingering. Like embers in a waning fire pit, entrancing those that take the time to watch the gleaming ash.

Tobirama can't help but notice how she tastes of honey, her lips hauntingly addictive.

A loud knock startles the duo, reverberating off of his office walls. Sakura squeaks in surprise, breaking off their kiss. Quickly closing her legs and fixing her hair, nearly jumping off the desk as her sensei fumbles to fix his shirt

They're both flush and she nearly runs to grab her forgotten school bag, body quivering from the intensity of their first kiss.

"Come in," his voice booms from behind the desk, having resigned himself to sitting and looking over papers, leaving Sakura gasping for breath.

In a sweeping motion, perhaps _the_ most beautiful woman Sakura ever laid eyes on entered his office. Devastatingly bright cobalt-green eyes stare intently at Tobirama situated at his desk, her hair is long — tumbling in stylized waves over a large bust and thin waist, cinched together by her dress.

It's in her fascination of admiring this woman that she turns to Sakura, a faux, sickeningly sweet smile on her face, "oh — you must be a student of my husband's," she recognizes.

"I'm Mei Terumi."

Even her _voice_ sounds gorgeous.

His scent still on her, and the young medical student freezes - unable to believe that she's meeting his  _wife._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think ~~


	4. Cruel World

_Tokyo Medical University_

If there were ever a moment where Tobirama felt like a heart attack might seize him, it would be now.

Sakura leapt off of him so quickly she almost tripped over her own feet.

When they gathered themselves and his  _wife_ entered, as sweet and condescending as she could ever be, he could tell she wanted to shove something in his face or ask for something — but they had company. For whatever reason, his wife didn't suspect anything and introduced herself to Sakura. A flood of relief swept through him, but he could feel the nervous heat reach his hands as he readied himself.

His student bowed low, the flush on her cheeks was noticeable from his chair behind his desk.

_Kami, she's going to notice._

"Is my husband hammering you with homework, dear?" Mei asked Sakura, digging at his reputation as a difficult teacher. The insult didn't go unnoticed, but he ignored it - careful to stay disinterested in his student when moments ago she had her legs wrapped around him.

"N-no," Sakura stammered, "…I just had a few questions about my grades."

_Lies._

But he's grateful for her quick thinking.

"What's your name?" Mei questioned her, cataloging this entire conversation. For reasons beyond him, Mei found herself interested in the lives of others — and while on the surface when they first got married he didn't notice this trait,  _now_  it terrified him.

"Sa-Sakura Haruno," the young student introduced herself shakily.

He needed to cut this off.

Before Mei could ask anymore questions and sensed their suspicious behavior like a thick incense in the room, Tobirama interrupted, "Sakura, if you'll excuse us," the charade to act as if they didn't just almost fuck on his desk could win them an award, and she greedily obliged the request.

"Pleasure to meet you, Terumi-san! Have a good day Tobirama-sensei!" her voice squeaked immeasurably, and Tobirama internally winced to himself.

It had to be obvious.

Sakura scurried out of his office like a frightened mouse, hiding behind her hair with her head bowed into her books — and one could chalk it off to her being intimated by Mei, but after what they just did, the guilt coiled his stomach.

Once the door closed behind his piece of salvation, Mei turned to him — lips pursed in a frown, "she's…. _cute,_ " she measured oddly, waiting for him to dignify her with a response. As usual, she  _wants_ him to comment on another woman, which had always been a weird habit of hers when they were first dating — as if him constantly reminding Mei that she was prettier validated their relationship.

So instead he ignored her.

"She's also Tsunade's apprentice," he dodged.

Mei raised a sculpted brow, "that old bitch finally decided to take an apprentice?"

Heat rose to his face, " ** _don't_**  call her that."

She waved him off, "whatever. Anyway, you'll be happy to know I need to leave again this weekend. My mom needs help with my dad, so can you keep Toneri?"

_Ah, so that's what she wanted._

Tobirama sighed, "why can't we both go with you? I could help you - I don't mind," he pointed out, but already knew her response.

"It's just easier for me to go alone. Besides, Toneri cried the whole time last weekend because he wanted to be with you, for whatever reason," she murmured, sitting herself down impatiently in the chair in front of his desk.

Why did she make him so  _mad_?

Every word that slipped from her mouth made his skin crawl, and the room seemed to chill when she entered. It amazed him that she managed to have a cool, indignant facade when ten minutes ago they were screaming at each other over the phone.

"Fine, of course I don't mind watching our  _son_  — but I don't see why you had to come all the way here to ask me that," Tobirama stood to excuse himself, trying to ignore the raging beat in his chest, "I have to get back to my class—"

Mei's face frosted, "so you have time to talk to your student but not your  _wife?_ "

"Yes," he shot back, trepidation ate at his stomach, "of course I do, she's  _my student_."

His wife didn't say anything, but she decided to drop it, "Toneri is at daycare, I'll be working late again."

 _'_ _Just leave,'_  he groaned internally.

The beautiful woman he married stood up and looked around his office once, twice, assessing it before leaving without as much as a goodbye. When the door closed behind her, Tobirama sank onto his palms to lean on his desk — releasing the tension from his lungs that he wasn't aware was there.

All he could manage was a small, "fuck."

It never crossed him why she made such an effort to come unannounced.

xox

_Senju Residence_

Really, he's trying to focus.

The dissertation for his colleague is sitting in front of him, Toneri is playing with his blocks —absorbed in counting, which at the  _very_ least he took after him in that respect. His wife was the creative one, and although they say opposites attract, it never gave them much to talk about.

Tobirama set down the text, blinking back the tiring events of the day.

Yet, it's a problem when he can't stop imagining the way his student's lips were bruised when she opened herself to him, wet and inviting.

Even more, the way her eyes glimmered for his welfare. It pained him to be the one to cause her to cry, but she managed to easily calm him down — which normally ended with him punching something. None of this made any sense, and a deep part of him wished this didn't confuse him as much as it did. In reality, he made a mistake. Still...Something inherently  _warm_ latched itself to Sakura that spread it's way to him. Call it relief, or call if a small infatuation - either way he cut it, it was wrong.

The way she bit her lip nervously - tugging on the skin sinously,  _tempting_ him.

_No, stop you idiot!_

He was a fool to be so careless.

She was his  _student,_ and eleven years his junior. Not only did he risk his career, but the welfare of his child and wife. He can't think clearly, and the small grunts of a toddler taking it upon himself to learn can be heard from his spot in the kitchen, further distracting him.

He needed a cigarette.

Grabbing his pack and his lighter, the tall male made his way outside.

Lighting the cigarette, he pushed it to his lips — the scent alone eased the tension in his shoulders, and once he inhaled — clarity beseeched him.

And in that clarity, his pretty pink student stared back at him.

 _'_ _I love you, Sensei.'_

The words played readily in his head, and he couldn't imagine  _why_  or  _what_  she could possibly like about an old man like him. Not that thirty-one was technically  _old_ , but there were so many other males her age that would be lucky to have her.

He was obsessed with his work, had a kid and a failing marriage — and he wasn't the most outgoing of people, plus his temper got the best of him. Throughout the entirety of his childhood, Hashirama would turn down the hordes of women that would confess to him, his brother's bubbling personality drew in girls — while they strayed away from him, claiming he was too stoic or cold.

Not that he minded, women were trouble.

The smoke filled his lungs, smoothing his frayed nerves.

_What am I getting myself into?_

He snuffed the cigarette and sighed, uncaring that his wife still hadn't returned home late into the night.

xox

 _Monday_  
_Senju Residence_

They say that you can instinctually see your world falling apart long before it happens. As a method of self-preservation, our brains are wired to notice the red flags so we can prepare ourselves accordingly. Of course, the heart wants what it wants and does what it does, leaving us incapable of seeing the truth for what it is.

The divorce papers stared at him.

Mei returned from her trip late on Sunday, put Toneri to bed, and went to sleep without so much as a hello.

For moment, he thought she found out about his stint with Sakura — which he made the decision to end, he just needed to speak with her first. Monday mornings Mei and himself left open for themselves as time to hang out, and when Mei left to drop off Toneri at pre-school before Tobirama reached the kitchen, she cleverly left the papers on their dining room table.

Tobirama took a seat and lit a cigarette, waiting for her to come home.

When she entered through the front door an hour later, prim as the day he met her — she walked in with tears in her eyes. As she rounded the corner, Tobirama flicked the ashes into the unused cigarette trey, forcing her to scrunch her nose in disgust.

"You're smoking again?" she sniffled, standing in the archway.

Hundreds of questions litigated his thoughts, but only one could surface when he shoved the papers away from him, "what the fuck is this?"

Mei dropped her purse on the table and sat herself across from him, steeling her sharp features, "you know what this is."

"No, I don't — explain it to me."

She bristled unhappily, like a snake that got prodded one too many times, "they're divorce papers, Tobi—"

" _Don't_  call me that, you're just going to leave all weekend then leave this as a surprise for me?" he jostled, clenching his fist beneath the table, "explain to me why you're throwing divorce without so much as  _talking_ to me about it first!" he seethed, struggling to reign in his anger.

Mei had a clever way of manipulating his empathy for her tears but still managed to be angry with him, usually neutralizing him in their arguments - but not this time. "Because I can't talk to you! We can't talk to each other without fighting!" she sprung at him, manicured nails dug into the wood table.

"So instead of trying you're going to what?  _Give up_?"

"Yes!" she lamented, trying to stop her tears, "after the other night when you asked me if I still loved you….I couldn't give you an honest answer. I realized I  **don't**  love you anymore…And what do we have if we lost that?" by now, the tears were falling — streaking through her thick makeup.

He hated it when she cried, because she hardly did.

_It hurts to love someone that doesn't love you back._

"But I still love you! I have this entire time! I've everything I could to get things to work, but you closed yourself off!" he snapped.

"Have I?" she stiffed, begrudgingly wiping her thick tears, "that's funny coming from you. I tried for the first three years of our marriage and you never even gave me the time of day."

Tobirama stalled, scowling at the incredulous statement, "what the fuck are you talking about?"

"I tried! I tried so hard to get your attention for years, but you focused on your job and your family, I was  _never_  first to you. Not even when Toneri was fucking born! You couldn't be there because you had a workshop!"

He scoffed, "you're  _still_  mad about that? I was  _out of town_! I never stopped apologizing, do you know how guilty I felt missing the birth of my first son?"

"And I  _told_  you not to leave! But have you ever listened to anything I had to say? No. You were always so self-absorbed that I gave up!"

"Me?" he could feel the heat rising to his face, "me self-absorbed? You're fucking ridiculous — this coming from the woman that stays out with her friends almost every night, comes homes drunk off her ass since the beginning of our marriage and you expect me to what?"

" _Be there_ , you asshole!" she stood up fuming.

Tobirama chuckled, low and sarcastic, "I've always been an asshole to you. The same asshole that surprises you with flowers, the same one that bought you a trip to Kyoto last year, the same asshole that bought you  _everything_  you've ever wanted."

To keep himself in check, his fingers dug into his biceps with his arms crossed, his jaw clenched as he tried to stop himself from exploding.

He couldn't believe this.

She had nothing to say, and the silence stretched in long, tense seconds.

Mei sighed, brushing her hair out of her face, "this isn't healthy for Toneri."

The same sentiment he shared daily when their fights imploded, and it had to have a negative impact on his impressionable mind, "…you're right," he admitted.

This was probably the only thing they could agree on.

Husband and wife glared at each other from across the table, Mei was the first to speak and break the stewed silence, "I never wanted it to get this bad…"

" **Stop** ," Tobirama interjected with a scowl, "stop lying to me. This has been happening for well over a year. I tried suggesting counseling, I tried  _talking_ to you. You snap at me and shut me down every time. Don't act like this is something you regret. This is probably something you wanted."

Mei's jaw clenched and her lips pursed to control her temper, "if you didn't have such a bad temper then maybe this could have worked. You're  _lucky_  I don't take Toneri away from you!"

Always.

She always said something that dragged forth a grounding anger that grated his skin.

"Why are you like this? What the fuck did I ever do to you!" he yelled, standing up and slamming his hands on the table, "my temper has nothing to do with this! If you weren't out doing who knows what with your friends all the time then acting like it's  _my_  fault then we wouldn't be in this mess!"

Mei retaliated, shoving her purse at him to stand her ground, "you're fucking pathetic! I don't know why I ever agreed to marry you, you psychotic prick!"

"If you didn't open your legs so easily we wouldn't have gotten married!" he sneered, voice low and grave.

His words must have cut through her, because tears surfaced in the same eyes he fell in love with.

Maybe the miscarriage did this to them.

They met five years ago at a local bar Hashirama dragged him to.

Rather quickly, they gravitated towards each other.

Four bottles of sake later, a drunken rut in the bathroom that should have been the end of them turned into their relationship.

He received the phone call weeks later, and although surprised at first — he took it upon himself to take her hand in marriage. Coming from an esteemed family such as hers, she cried to him — not wanting to give up the baby but not wanting to tarnish her family's reputation.

Their wedding was rather large for being last minute, but they did it before she started showing.

It was easy falling in love with her.

Smart, well-mannered, outgoing, and ridiculously beautiful was easy to fall in love with.

The miscarriage happened late at night, and the amount of blood startled him.

Later at the hospital when the doctor told them the baby was gone, he never heard a woman cry like Mei did that night.

It cracked their relationship, but somewhere along the line he knew he wouldn't mind spending his life with this woman.

So they moved on.

Mei retreated into herself no matter how much he tried coaxing her to come back to him.

One day she woke up and announced that they wouldn't talk about it.

Maybe it was at that time that he absorbed himself into the University.

Mei relied on her friends rather than him.

He relied on work instead of her.

When the news of Toneri came, they were both leery throughout the whole pregnancy,  _waiting_  for the moment to come.

Fortunately, Toneri came crying into existence as a happy, healthy baby boy with ten fingers and ten toes.

He was much too good for either of them.

"Sign the papers, asshole — Or I  _swear_  I'll make this hell for you!" Mei whispered under a broken voice, grabbing her purse off the floor. The last look she gave him with tear-filled eyes was one that engraved itself in his soul.

They were done.

For reasons beyond him, he signed the papers.

xox

 _That Evening_  
_Hashirama's House_

Toneri bounced jovially next to him as they walked to his brother's residence, unable to contain his excitement to see his eccentric uncle. "Is Hashi having the baby yet?"

Tobirama laughed, "no, Toneri. Aunt Mito is having the baby, not your uncle."

His son seemed vexed, but shrugged his shoulders — blue bunny coddled at his side, "but you said Uncle Hashi is having a baby!"

"Mito has him in her belly right now, so Mito is having the baby," he tried to explain.

The toddler frowned, unable to grasp the concept and dropped the subject, "does Obaa-chan still have TonTon?"

Why his aunt tricked his son into thinking that a small mechanical pig was a real one when he learned the concept of animals would never seem to fade. The mechanical pig 'TonTon' was a mere toy, but Toneri had been obsessed since their first introduction.

"You'll see," he responded, noting to himself that he would need to have discussion with his enigmatic family members about his son's impressionable imagination. He was too tired to keep up with Toneri's incessant questioning, and too much was on his mind. Truth be told, he didn't want to come to Miao's birthday get together, but it would be suspicious if he suddenly cancelled. And honestly? He needed a distraction from that morning, and large part of him didn't want to deal with Mei right now.

He expected his brother to answer the door, or even his aunt two bottles of sake in to answer with a large grin on her flushed face.

What he  _didn't_  expect was to see his student answer the door.

Bright eyed and dressed in a yellow sundress — she looked rather stunning.

Her smile stretched prettily across her face, "Hi, Sensei," she greeted, smoothing out her dress nervously. That same smile that was slowly captivating him stretched even further when she spotted Toneri holding his hand.

Sakura took to kids like gum on the sole of a shoe, "who is this?"

Crouching down to get a better look at him, careful to keep her dress modest, she stuck her hand out to introduce herself. Toneri tucked himself behind his father's leg — shyly looking away.

"Toneri…" Tobirama scolded, urging his timid son forward, "what do you say?"

Sakura smiled, inching away to give him space, "your name is Toneri? That's such a cool name! My name is Sakura," the young med student beamed at the child, careful to keep her distance.

Her warm energy coaxed the young boy to glance at her, timidly smiling, before glancing up at his dad for permission. Tobirama nodded, a small smile on his face.

"…Hi," he said softly, still gripping his father's leg, but extended his free hand to shake Sakura's.

Small hand fit into a bigger one.

Toneri removed hismelf from behind his dad, opening up to the flower, "your hair is pink," he pointed out.

His student gave a small laugh, forgetting that her hair was a very uncommon color, "it is, like a sakura blossom! Do you like it?"

The toddler nodded his head vigorously, reaching out to touch a silky strand framing her face, "it's soft!" he giggled. Before Sakura could respond, the raging laughter from inside caught everyone's attention - which was definitely his brother's iconic laugh.

Sakura stood, greeting her sensei with her hands behind her back, "sorry..." she acknowledged, " Tsunade-Shishou invited me…I hope this isn't awk—"

"Oh, who cares what he thinks!" Tsunade cut in, coming into view in the hallway to beckon her family and apprentice inside, "get in here already and eat!"

Hashirama threw a small party for Mito's birthday, just a simple celebration with their immediate family and her cousin. He met Kushina and Minato once or twice. Their parents moved from Konoha — the same small town that Sakura was from, and every so often they brought Kushina and her son…Naruto?

"Oh, I'm so happy you guys are here! I just with Naruto came," Sakura straightened herself in her seat, excited to see the familiar faces of her best friend's parents, "I haven't talked to him since I left…But I know he's really busy," Sakura murmured to Kushina and Minato.

Kushina frowned, her anger sparking, "that silly son of mine! You would think I taught him better manners to keep in touch with a good friend of his!"

Apparently, Sakura and their son were extremely close.

Part of him wondered  _how_  close they were.

"And he didn't want to move to the city after school?" Tobirama cut in, wondering why they were here visiting without their son.

Sakura seemingly wanted to ask the same question, but restrained herself — waiting for them to answer.

"He has a new girlfriend," Minato's soft voice threaded on a laugh, "he's a bit obsessive. She's been over nearly everyday for the past month!"

This news wasn't meant to affect Sakura, but he could see the slight tilt in her shoulders and how she wilted at the news.

A sting of jealousy flared on his skin.

"That's amazing," Sakura chimed happily, but her smile didn't reach her eyes, "I'm really happy for him — Hinata is a sweet girl."

The rest of the table moved on from the subject, and as per usual Tobirama stayed relatively quiet. He wasn't a big speaker at dinner parties, and he didn't enjoy senseless banter. When something sparked his interest, or when the conversation involved something other than gossip — he would say something. However, he found himself dwelling on this Naruto character more than he cared to. How long were they friends for? Did they date? Was he tall? He sounded like a brat if he decided to stay in town and not take his opportunity to go to Tokyo. What kind of friend didn't visit their supposed 'best friend?'

Toneri struggled with his food, and Tobirama reached over to help him cut a piece of his meat when deaf ears finally caught wind of Mei speaking to him.

"Tobi..?" his sister-in law and the rest of the table gazed at him quizzically.

"Sorry," he blinked back his daze, "what did you say?"

Mito didn't miss a beat, "I asked where Mei is? Hashirama told me her father is very ill, I hope it isn't serious."

Tobirama remembered the signed divorce papers at home.

Briefly, he looked at Sakura's concerned look.

Her lips tasted sweet that day, like honeydew.

For some reason, this girl was fine-tuned with his thoughts, and she offered him a knowing smile, one filled with the same comfort she offered him each time they came across one another.

Where was his mind at? It bounced everywhere, and focusing on this dinner discussion was the last thing he wanted.

"She just went this weekend to help her father—"

Tsunade snorted comically, sniffing out the lie, "sure she was," she muttered, taking another swig of her beer.

Hashirama sighed, "Tsuna…." he chastised, trying to silencetheir aunt before she opened her mouth.

"Don't do that, you brat!" she snapped at his brother, "why would any woman visit her ailing father each weekend and refuse her husband's company? It doesn't make any sense! And you're the fool for believing her!"

The professor stayed quiet, never thinking twice about his wife's decision to frequently leave each weekend out of town.

A pressed silence fell over the table like a thick blanket, soft yet suffocating.

Sakura kept her head low, understanding the insinuation.

His temper flared, "stay out of this, Obaa-chan!"

Tsunade glared at him, "and it's ok for all of us to agree that it's obvious she's up to something, but  _I'm_  the rude one for saying something? Open your eyes, kid."

"What do you expect me to do? I trust her, she's my  _wife_!"

"A wife that suckered you into marrying her!" Tsunade pointed an accusing finger, never one to bow down from a fight — especially when it came to one of her loved ones. The woman would fight tooth and nail for those she attached herself to, even if it meant fighting those some people against their own inclinations.

Toneri whimpered beside him, and this silenced his aunt long enough for him to grab his son's hand and storm out of the dining room, "how about next time we don't do this at the dinner table in front of my son,  _Obaa-chan,_ " he snarled sarcastically over his shoulder, leaving the woman red-faced and cold.

"That stubborn idiot," she griped.

The table resumed a different conversation — Hashirama sighed low to himself, about to excuse himself, "Sakura-chan, could you grab Toneri from my brother so I can talk to him please?"

Confused as to why she would be chosen, Sakura nodded her head, "of course, Hashirama-san."

Removing herself from the dinner table, Sakura trailed through the hallway until she noticed the large back door windows. Her sensei was standing with Toneri who looking through the flower bed, animatedly looking for lady bugs.

She stepped outside quietly, "uhm…?"

"Not now, Sakura," Tobirama pinched the bridge of his nose, annoyed with himself and the past week of his life that was crumbling with each step he took.

"Your brother asked me to grab Toneri," she explained calmly. At the mention of his name the young boy brightened up and quickly grabbed her hand, excited to have a partner in his bug hunting since his dad refused him minutes ago.

"Sakura-chan! Help me find ladybugs!" his son led her to the thick flower bed, and she knelt down beside him, casting Tobirama a small glance before obliging the small child.

Toneri took to his student like fish in water, excitedly buzzing about the different insects they found from the book he was reading earlier, and he (tried) explaining to her their names and purpose in the ecosystem. Truthfully, he never witnessed his son take to someone so easily, especially a stranger.

He lost himself watching the two until a strong hand gripped his shoulder that could only belong to his brother, "want to talk about it?" Hashirama gave him a concerned gaze, the same look that only his brother could genuinely produce to make him open up.

An hour later when they were sitting on the back patio smoking a cigarette, Sakura and Toneri played tag in the distance — his son squealing in excitement each time the pinkette would rush him and pick him up to twirl him in her arms.

He looked so happy.

Hashirama flicked the ash of his cigar into the ash tray, "so did you sign them?"

Tobirama finished the rest of his whiskey, "yep."

His brother whistled, scratching the back of his head in an attempt to put his words together, "can't say I didn't see it coming."

Differing eyes of two brothers met in an equal look.

"What do you mean?"

Hashirama shrugged, "although I don't agree with Obaa-chan's approach to the subject, I agree that the circumstance of your relationship would set you both up to fail."

Sometimes it was oddly terrifying when his normally jovial and goofy brother got serious.

"So you knew it wouldn't last?"

"I hoped it would, for your sake. You love her, anybody can see that. I never saw the mutual effort on her end, I mean c'mon, brother — when was the last time she came for a get together on our side?" Hashirama pointed out.

The signs were obvious.

Was he too blind to see them?

"Am I really a fool?" Tobirama laughed sardonically to himself, the edges of him splinting — maybe there was a grain of truth to what his aunt said.

Hashirama shared in his laughter, "no — any man in love is a fool, so you're not alone."

"You're in love," the younger brother shot back.

" _Ah!_  I am, but Mito may be the bigger fool for loving me, and any woman that willingly falls in love with your sour face is worse off than her," he joked, hitting his brother endearingly on the shoulder.

On that beat, Tobirama flicked his gaze to Sakura, swept away by her laughter and the way she effortlessly played with his son. In just a few short weeks she became a fixture in his life, only a couple of chance meetings and he found himself thinking about her in between the storm of his marriage.

He was not innocent.

The other day he was willing to cheat on his wife.

Or,  _ex_ -wife now that the signed papers sat at home waiting for her to read them.

Sakura turned to face them, smiling brightly to point Toneri in their direction. The floppy haired kid ran over and into Hashirama's lap, "uncle!" he squealed in glee, "can we play helicopter now?"

Their conversation over - within seconds, Hashirama started his engine, growling low in his throat — mimicking the sounds of a helicopter before standing and lifting his son high into the air, careful to twirl them — the sound of Toneri hysterically giggling made his night.

His student appeared beside him, watching the scene as happily as him, hands threaded behind her back.

Tobirama took his eyes off his son momentarily to steal a glance at her and how well she fit in to their family. It almost felt natural, but he shook aside those polluted thoughts. No matter what, she was his  _student_.

The glow of the porch lighting highlighted her cheek bones, and knowingly she looked up at him, and for a split second — he could physically see the warmth and love she had for him.

_A pretty fool._

xox

On the drive home, he couldn't wiggle a way to take Sakura home without Tsunade's sharp eye noticing — and part of him feared what would happen if they found themselves alone again. Besides, he needed time to process what happened that morning.

"I like Sakura-san," Toneri piped up from his carseat in the back, breaking through his thoughts, "she's really pretty."

Tobirama glanced in the rearview mirror, agreeing with his son, "I'm glad you liked her, she's a good girl."

His silver-haired son clung to his bunny, picking at it's frayed ears, "can we invite her over to play?" he asked innocently.

He paused, "she's my student," he finally answered, "we can't — it's against the rules."

Toneri pouted, "but why?"

"Because."

"W _hy_? Is she a  _bad_ student?"

Sometimes the logic of a toddler made more sense than an adults.

"Well….No, but teachers can't be friends with students, that's all there is Toneri," Tobirama scolded, his voice hardened enough to silence his son, who in turn crossed his arms to pout.

His attempt at making himself angry was endearingly cute, "that's not fair, I want to be friends with Sakura-san."

The professor couldn't dissuade his son into thinking there was ever a possibility that might happen, so he didn't respond — after such a tiring day, the exhaustion hit him like atruck, and he hated himself because instead of worrying about his impending divorce — all he could think about for the rest of the ride home was Sakura in her little yellow sundress.

xox

_Senju Residence_

Murphy's law is stated as such, "anything that can go wrong will go wrong."

Tobirama believed in this since he was a child — so he could prepare himself for the inevitable tragedies that followed his life beginning with the death of their parents. Hashirama was a glass half full kind of guy, while he stood on the bi-polar spectrum of wondering why a cup of water was used as a euphemism for life in the first place.

Which is why when they returned that night from Mito's party — instead of seeing Mei's car in the driveway, there was an empty spot.

No lights were on in the house — and usually it was habitual for them to leave the porch light on, which meant she either left earlier in the day or never came back at all.

Upon entering, Toneri called out for his mom, but no response.

A pound of dread coiled his stomach, ready to burst into anger — he didn't notice it at first, but small, minuscule things were missing that she used everyday. His son ran from room to room looking for his mom, but it wasn't until Tobirama entered their bedroom and the entirety of her closet was missing that he realized she left them.

For good.

Toneri stood beside him, shocked by the change — and seeing the look on his father's face terrified him. Tears surfaced to the young boy's intuitive eyes, "….Papa, where's mama?"

This one time — he wished that Toneri wasn't so intelligent and hid behind a veil of ignorance. His hard wailing could only be coaxed away by being in Tobirama's arms, and  _somehow_  he finagled a well orchestrated lie to explain why Mei's stuff was missing.

It took three hours to get his son to bed.

Mei was prone to impulse decisions.

Maybe she didn't think he would sign the papers so readily.

He never played chicken — if something happened in his life that required a hard decision, he hardly hesitated.

Except now his wife disappeared, leaving him with their son.

He watched with tired eyes as his son's breathing evened out, his cheeks were puffy and eyes were swollen from crying — Toneri didn't believe that she would come back. Every part of him wished that he could give him the right answers, but what the fuck do you tell a five year old in a situation like this?

Tobirama pressed his palms to his eyes, trying to ebb away his exhaustion.

Another look at his son after dragging his palms down his face only provided him a source of anger.

How could she do this to him? To their  _child_?

_Heartless bitch._

For the thirtieth time that night, he called Mei.

Disappearing out of Toneri's room — for the thirtieth time, her phone pushed him to voicemail.

His fists curled familiarly at his side, but he couldn't find it within him to truly get angry. For once, there was a relative silence in their home that didn't consist of them fighting and scaring their son. He sat on the porch chair, cigarette in hand and called her friends listed in his phone.

Nothing.

They either didn't know anything or they were lying, he could  _hear_  their smirk over the phone when he would mention all of her belongings being packed, and in his heart he knew that Mei told them her side of things. All of them were as crass as her, so he didn't expect answers. Of course, they covered for their friend and feigned innocence.

Her mother answered and rushed him off the phone just as fast — telling him to be the bigger person in the relationship and make up with her daughter because she had to take care of Mei's father. Mei's mother wasn't concerned in the slightest, and before hanging up the phone she said Mei ran away before and that she would come back eventually.

After he hung up, he kicked the chair opposite from him, frustrated.

Should he call missing persons?

No, she  _purposely_  left — what could the police tell him that he didn't already know?

She wasn't kidnapped, she  _left_  them.

He wanted to break something, he wanted to yell, hurt someone,  _something._

For a brief moment, he contemplated calling Hashirama to invite him over to keep him distracted — but didn't feel like explaining himself.

Tobirama sighed, inhaling deeply on his cigarette — inviting the relief of the nicotine.

Call it delirium, but an impulse took over. Killing his cigarette in the ashtray, one bright face came to mind. The only one that could sweep him away with an earnest glance. She wouldn't judge, nor would she try and give him advice.

She would  _listen._

Intent on finding one number in the school's system, he rushed inside to his laptop and logged onto the website, throat constricted. It took but a few minutes to find her — and he mulled over the decision, the name and number with her picture stared back at him, tempting him to call.

If he did this, there wouldn't be an end.

He would be crossing the line.

The professor suddenly remembered in his drunken haze how she pulled a blanket over him when he passed out.

More than that, her words gripped him, ' _I'm in love with you, I have been for a long time_.'

Tobirama dialed Sakura's number.

It was touching midnight, and her sleepy voice answered the unknown number, "h-hello?" she murmured tiredly into the phone.

The professor paused, knowing the repercussions for this — but he didn't stop himself, "Sakura," he managed — voice strict.

She gasped, and for a second he wondered if she hung up when he didn't hear anything until she squeaked a small, " _Sensei_?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to let me know what you think, thank you for reading ~~


	5. Burning Desire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to my friend Karen for helping my storyboard the rest of this story and giving me motivation each day to continue writing this piece ~~

"S- _sensei_?" Sakura shot straight up in her bed when she recognized the familiar voice, hair sticking out in every which direction.

He paused over the phone, and she glanced at her cell to make sure she didn't accidentally hang up when he didn't respond right away, "uh—"

"Sorry, did I wake you? I didn't look at the time," he apologized.

"Y-yeah, but it's ok! Is everything alright? Did something happen to Tsunade-shishou?" Sakura worried, there could be no other reason why Tobirama would call her this late at night, and dread crept in her peripherals. Besides, how else would he have found her number?

His silence perpetuated her fear further until he spoke up, "no — everything is fine. I'm sorry…I shouldn't have called."

Sakura blinked away her sleep, trying to understand what was going on. The shaky nature of his voice was a good tell, and she softened her voice — call it intuition, but she knew that something must have happened, "…are you alright, Sensei?"

Tobirama waited, perpetuating the silence until he took a deep breath over the phone, "Mei left."

Her body chilled, he sounded so broken — her heart hurt _for_ him, "…Sensei, I'm so sorry. I…" Sakura couldn't pin what to say in a situation like this, and she glanced over at Karin's sleeping outline on her bed, nearly forgetting about her nosy roommate. When she heard the steady breathing, Sakura snuck out from her covers and padded into their joint bathroom and closed the door.

He stayed quiet, and Sakura pursed her lips before whispering, "…do you want to meet somewhere and talk?"

His silence sounded like he hung up again, but finally he relented, "I have Toneri…I wouldn't want you traveling here by yourself this late."

That meant he wanted to talk, she assumed — but couldn't pick her up. Sakura glanced at her phone's clock and debated within herself, it was almost midnight, "…the last train leaves in thirty minutes, I can go over…If you want me to?"

Her sensei waited a second before responding, "come. I'll send you my address."

When they murmured their goodbyes, Sakura sunk against the bathroom door to her butt — heart racing as she clutched the phone to her chest. Part of her didn't believe this was happening, but her stomach twisted — what could she ever possibly say that would make him feel better?

xox

When she arrived to his modest home in a nice suburb outside of Tokyo — only ten minutes away from both her shishou's and Hashirama-san's home. They all must have chosen to live close to one another, and it warmed her heart to see how close they were as a family. Sakura found him smoking a cigarette on his porch hidden away by a thicket of bushes. Her light footsteps caught his attention, and he snuffed his cigarette — unsure about anything at this point.

Sakura could see the dark circles around his eyes from lack of sleep and the way his face sunk from stress. She frowned, wondering why he chose _her_ to relate his problems too — but being the kind girl she is, she wanted to help him.

"Sensei?" her soft voice reached him, and he motioned to the seat beside him once she reached the top of the steps.

"Sakura," he greeted, questioning his sanity. Why did he call for her this late at night? A heavy wave of guilt hit him, something could have happened to her.

"Were the trains ok?"

She nodded and sat herself next to him, careful to keep their legs from touching, "they were fine…Although there was this really funny old man and his wife — they were talking to me about my hair and kept bickering about whether or not it's real," she half-laughed to herself.

Tobirama put on a withered smile, having thought the same thing to himself once, "well…It is real, right?"

She looked appalled and gently slapped his upper arm, "of course it is! I got it from my dad…Although my grandparents were from Europe so maybe that's why."

"Or you're just odd."

"Mm, but odd can be good?" she defended herself, "this is coming from the man with white hair -- though you're really odd, too."

"Me? I'm not odd." Tobirama defended himself, enjoying their light banter.

"Ha! You're worse than I am. You always have your watch on your left wrist, your sleeves are half rolled with the pins on the outside, and you always keep your coffee mug centered left on your desk," Sakura pointed out, almost giggling to herself, "or maybe you have OCD."

"So that means you've been paying close attention to me," he mentioned casually, part of him wanted to keep up with the light conversation - but everything in his life weighed him down, and he didn't know how much longer he could keep it together.

Sakura beamed scarlet.

She sold herself out and bit her lip, instantly averting her gaze in embarrassment, "…no!"

Somehow, she managed to make him forget the events of the day.

Somehow, this girl's presence and voice relaxed him.

He leaned closer, enthralled by the simple way she easily became flustered around him, "you don't have to lie to me, Sakura."

Sakura swallowed, heart pacing wildly in her chest, "uhm…Sensei, isn't there something you wanted to talk about?" she added nervously. As much as she wanted to make him feel better by keeping the conversation light, she felt inclined to actually help him.

Almost instantly, his previous mood replaced his momentary light nature and he looked away from his student. Mentally berating himself, Tobirama habitually reached for his cigarette pack, "what's there to talk about?" he murmured, plucking one of the cigs with his fingers.

"—I'm sorry for making you come all the way out here, it was dumb of me. I shouldn't be doing this to a student, especially someone as kind as you. I should know better."

Sakura frowned, "it's ok to lean on people sometimes, y'know. I know I'm not a family member or anybody close to you, but I do want to help," she paused, unsure of what to say next, "and I think you need to talk to someone that won't judge you."

He brought the cigarette to his lips and lit it, but her words made him halt — forcing him to register the maturity in her thinking, "….you're right," he admitted, "but what the hell am I supposed to do?"

Here it came.

The anger.

The years of discontent with his marriage.

Months of arguing.

He never cried, much to Mei's dismay — and he didn't feel sad even now, but the revolting anger that threatened to take him and pain he felt for his son would never allow him to forgive her for this.

So why?

Why did he find himself caring so much?

"I've done everything for her. I married her to save her reputation, I fell in love with her and catered to her. I _tried_ to be there for her! I did everything a good fucking husband does and she still spit on my face and _left!_ She left my son!" he was beginning to shake again, and he forcibly held down his fist by his side.

To calm himself, he took a long drag on the cigarette — careful to blow it away from her.

Sakura tilted her head, if she could shoulder his pain she would. If she could take the hurt from his eyes and burden herself with it, she would do it in a heartbeat. Reassuringly, she reached forward and placed her hand on his forearm, gently touching him to calm him down.

He didn't notice.

"What the fuck do I tell Toneri in the morning? I already signed the divorce papers, I did what she wanted and she did this to him!" he growled, trying to stop himself. Maybe if he hadn't been so blunt earlier, maybe if he took back what he said and apologized sometime throughout the day — maybe if he spent more time trying to fix things.

Maybe.

"Would it matter?" he relented, breaking. "Nothing I did would help us, but I guess it didn't matter since she doesn't love me anymore."

The young student couldn't find the correct words to try and help him, but could only be left agape, "she said that?" Sakura gasped.

His silence answered her question, and she felt for him, "I'm so sorry."

What else could she say?

"Don't be," he sighed, rubbing his face with a tired hand, "this isn't your fault."

Sakura pursed her lips, furrowing her brows in frustration, "it isn't yours either! Stop blaming yourself for this, Sensei! I hate seeing you like this. If you truly did everything you could, then she's a horrible woman. Nobody can blame you, and it isn't anybodies business."

She lightly gripped his arm, connecting them.

Sakura couldn't possibly imagine ever leaving her child with their father, let alone simply pack up her stuff and leave her life behind. It made her heart ache for the delicate boy who had a heart of gold and for the man that tried so hard these past few years.

For some reason, she appeared so much older in the glow of the ashen moonlight.

Tobirama felt lost in the deepness of her eyes.

So they talked. For an hour or hours - they lost track of time, he explained himself and ranted to his student. He killed two cigarettes without realizing it before he finished, his anger and frustration palpable.

"I'm sure she'll come back. Women like that usually do. I don't think she would leave Toneri for good. Maybe for now you can calmly explain the situation? He's a really smart kid, more than I think anyone gives him credit for — and I'm sure he would understand," Sakura explained, trying to ease his problems with a temporary solution.

"Tell him what? That his mother left us?" he snuffed sardonically.

"Tell him that you guys got into an argument for now and need time apart before things can get better."

He inhaled, chest aching, "things _won't_ get better. I'm sure she's already submitted the papers by now, she works fast when she wants to."

Sakura kept her gaze trained on his face, trying to read him, "…do you _want_ the divorce?" she asked gently.

Did he? So many unanswered questions ran by him that he couldn't catch up to, but she asked the one question that plagued him for the last year. He loved his wife, he loved what they had. Part of him wondered from the beginning, he wondered how deeply he fell in love with her — but her words never reached him. He couldn't cry with her. When she closed herself off, it was easy for him to shut down — and Mei probably noticed that.

He imagined a long life with her, and for a time he was truly in love with her.

That felt like decades ago.

"Yes," he answered.

It hurt him to say it, because he would do anything for his son — which is why he stuck it out this long. Toneri needed a mother and father together. Who was he to take that from him? With his parents gone, he didn't want that for his son. The absence of a parent, whether intended or not had been the most painful experience he went through. Fortunately, he had his aunt and his brothers - who did Toneri have besides an angry dad and a mother that left?

He wanted to break something.

"For a long time now. The fighting was so bad, I don't know how we could put Toneri through it. We've both been selfish, but I don't think we were ever compatible to begin with. I pushed it aside for so long, but eventually it would come back, I should have known better."

The mantra of his life.

Why couldn't he proceed his mistakes by actually _thinking_?

And here he was, confiding everything in his life to one of his students.

"You wanted to make things right. Most men wouldn't do that in this type of situation. You're obviously hurting and feel guilty even after she left…You're a good man, Sensei — anybody can see that," Sakura confessed, she rubbed gentle circles into his forearm in hopes to makes him feel better. Naruto liked this once, and sometimes it would be the only thing that calmed him down.

Or she would bop him over the head, whichever came first.

Tobirama didn't know what to do. Anger still sifted through him, confusion scourged him, and now this girl sat here next to him and offered him sound advice that made sense. She managed to make him feel better. He wanted to reach out to her and thank her, he wanted to apologize, he wanted to know why she understood his thinking without having to try.

"Then I think you can handle this, Sensei," she beamed at him encouragingly, "I know it may not mean much coming from me—"

"Stop that."

"Huh?"

"Stop degrading yourself like that. I value what _you_ have to say. I wouldn't have called you if I didn't. You…You understand me," his deep voice took over, he wanted her to understand what she meant to him.

Sakura gnawed on her inner cheek, trying to stop the heat from rushing to her face. The way he looked at her pinned her to her seat. His cerise colored eyes were so intense that she forgot to breathe sometimes, and even now she found herself stuttering from his proximity, "I…Thank you," she managed to whisper.

He grabbed her hand on his forearm and threaded their fingers together.

Her skin tingled with fresh goosebumps, and he brought the back of her hand to his lips, "I should be thanking you," he murmured against her knuckles, finding an oddly fascinating amount of comfort in her touch.

He could kiss her right now.

The two sat bathed in the glow of moonlight — he looked devilishly handsome to her, the red stripes on his face were more prominent and looked more like faded scars by now, but added an air of attraction to his chiseled face. His mop of white hair looked silver at night, only adding to her longing for him.

Tobirama leaned closer, eyes trained on her delightfully pink lips. He wanted to taste the innocence and warmth she had for him, just once. She brought something from within him he hadn't felt before. The simple way she analyzed things and managed to calm him down in the face of what happened amazed him.

It was unfair how much she loved him and wanted to do everything she could to help him.

But she had to wonder if this was right.

She hated herself after almost being caught…And if there were a possibility of her ruining any chances of them fixing their marriage, she couldn't handle it. Sakura pulled her hand away to her lap, "I think I need to go."

Tobirama stopped, clearly confused, "why?"

"Because I don't want to be the reason you and your wife don't get back together," viridian clouded with unshed tears, "I…I love you so much! But I can't help you. It's selfish of me, but I can't help you when I'm not anything to you! I want to stand by your side and support you no matter what, but who am I?" Sakura lamented on all the trouble she normally brought people, stuck in her own mind as a nuisance, unable to make the right decisions.

"I'm an outsider and burden to everyone, and I don't want to be a burden to you or your family." As much as she loved him, she couldn't do that to him. Fresh tears washed down her wide cheeks, because her heart and soul hurt for him and herself.

She moved to grab her purse and leave.

Quietly, she stood and murmured a small goodbye.

Sakura didn't want to wait and change her mind.

She didn't have to, because Tobirama shot up and grabbed her shoulder to spin her towards him. He hugged her close to him, refusing to let her go. Something innate within him couldn't see her leave.

In his dissolving world, she entered and made _sense_.

The young student remained stiff at first, shocked by his action — this time it wasn't her initiating their contact, but him.

"What if I told you…You _are_ somebody to me. What if I said your smile means so much to me… _You_ mean something to me," Tobirama confessed. Even if the rational part told him to stop, he couldn't.

Sakura shivered in his arms, slowly easing herself to his touch and wrapping her dainty arms around his torso. She could feel his heartbeat erratically racing, and his words touched a deep, sensitive place that made her choke. She clenched the back of his shirt and pressed her face to his chest, staining his shirt with elated tears.

He tilted her head back with his hand, he had never been a man good with words, but he hoped that he conveyed what he felt for her with the sweep of a kiss.

Their lips brushed tenderly at first, nearly hesitant.

It was sweet and innocent, but it gripped them both.

Tobirama licked at her lips, and Sakura melted in his arms. He tasted like cigarettes, but she didn't care. Her arms gingerly wrapped around his neck so her body pressed flush against his and she opened her mouth. They eagerly battled each other and swept the caverns of their mouth. Their tongues glided against one another, and he grunted into her mouth — a man tethered to how sweet she tasted.

Her body felt like it was on fire, and when he bit her lower lip she softly gasped.

They pulled away from each other long enough to look at one another. Tobirama thumbed away her stray tears before he kissed her again, harder this time. He possessed her body, and she kept up with him — lacing her hands around his neck, "mmf, Sensei," she squeaked when the sound of a car engine revved to life from down the street.

Right.

Neighbors.

He broke away and stared down at her pretty face, her size compared to him made him loom over her, "inside," he breathed heavily against her lips.

Sakura let him lead her through house house. They were careful not to make any noise, but he didn't stop roaming his hand over her body. Her fingers fumbled to grasp either side of his face, they were a mess of broken emotions and attraction, but she loved him.

It scared her how hard she fell for this man.

Those thoughts were lost when they reached his bedroom.

She entered and swallowed, nervousness creeping into her body.

He didn't give her time to think because his lips attached to her neck, sucking on the dip of her collarbone, lapping at her pale skin and forcing her head to lull to the side. She bit her lip to keep from moaning, and this only made him more aggressive.

His hands snuck up the lithe curves of her waist that blossomed into a full ass hidden beneath her jeans. The green sweater that clung to her body hid her modest breasts, and he snaked his hands beneath the material of her top, his fingers tickled her abdomen — and she smiled into the air.

By now they were both panting, and he continued to suck on her collar bone — claiming her.

Tobirama knew what he wanted.

He wanted all of this girl that was beacon in the storm.

Her smile, her humor, her comfort — everything.

Sakura felt the bed hit the back of her knees on the bed and before she could say anything they fell together. He held himself on top of her, pausing to stare down at the pretty pinkette beneath him.

The intensity of his stare made her blush and bite her lip, "…what is it?"

Her demure nature made his member harden, contrasted by the sinuous way she tugged on her plump lower lip, his eyes narrowed and he growled low in his chest before leaning down and whispering in her ear, "what did I tell you about biting your lip?"

She froze, a new dampness built between her thighs.

Tobirama grabbed her chin between his fingers and turned her cheek so he could bite at her lip, "…you make me want to fuck you."

For the first time, an insatiable ache made her throb between her legs — and she whimpered in response.

Except.

An odd bravery overcame her and she purposely stared into his eyes and bit her lip again.

His balls clenched and he quickly worked his fingers over her jeans, pushing her legs open with his own. He was rock hard pressed against her, straining against the material of his pants. He ground down against her, his heavy body enveloped her own — and part of her couldn't believe this was happening.

Tobirama kissed his student again, possessively growling into her mouth.

Sakura generously lifted her hips so he could pull off her jeans. Lacy white underwear revealed themselves once she kicked off her pants and a maddening pink tint rose to her skin, Tobirama snickered and let his hand glide up her long leg.

The strength of his hand gripped her toned legs, he squeezed her thigh — groaning low in his throat. He was a legs and ass man, and this girl managed to tease him each day with her thigh highs and short skirts. He delved in and sucked at her neck, leaving harsh red marks on her skin.

He wanted to possess her. Fuck, he wanted her so bad. It was wrong, but he was far too gone in her to think of anything else.

Sakura squirmed beneath him, panting as the heat built between her legs.

She was so wet it was almost unbearable.

Her panties were soaked, and she needed _some_ sort of friction. Panting, she moved her hand between her thighs as he ravaged her neck, rubbing her clit through her panties while her free hand tangled itself in his hair.

He kissed her neck, her jaw, her lips — everywhere his lips could taste her, he planted wet kisses — she had a sweet taste of her own.

"S- _sensei_ ," Sakura breathed, tilting her head to the side to catch her breath.

"Mm?" he murmured against her skin, leaving another red mark on her collar bone. His free hand reached under her sweater to cup a full breast — he realized she didn't wear a bra and his cock twitched, he was painfully hard by now.

_Fuck, what is she doing to me?_

They worked together to pull her sweater off of her and toss it aside. With her body almost fully exposed to him, he took a second to take in her petite frame. Gentle curves sloped for her breasts, a tiny waist, and rounded out hips made his mouth water. She tried to cover her breasts, but he held her arm down, "no," Tobirama ground out gruffly, "don't hide from me."

It was an order, and Sakura swallowed — enraptured by the way he held her down and slid down her body.

She watched as he fit himself between her legs, eyes wide.

Was he…?

Slowly, he hooked his fingers on her panties and slid them down her legs.

They were discarded among the growing pile of clothing and he licked his lips.

He hissed to himself when the beautiful sight greeted his eyes. Her pink lips were puffy and wet, and he gently kissed her inner thigh, nipping and heightening the sensation between her legs.

Her thighs quivered from anticipation, she had never done… _This_ before.

The heat on her face felt like a furnace, and his red eyes savagely took in the entirety of her exposed slit.

His lips made her thighs clench, and Tobirama ghosted his mouth over her dripping cunt. Sakura bit her finger to stop from crying out — his breath tickled her, and she readily squirmed for him.

Tobirama smirked.

He tasted her, dipping his tongue between her nether lips. He pulled back her hood to expose her clit and latched onto the sweet nub. He groaned internally when she arched off the bed, she tasted sweet like honey and he lapped at her clit, sucking on the engorged nub.

Sakura gaped.

A swirl of pleasure made her body arch, and she gripped the sheets trying to root herself to the bed. Her eyes closed as he ate her out, driving a new sensation through her core. She felt extremely hot, and she bit her lip to stop the sweet noises that leaked from her mouth. "Sensei!" she whispered in vain when he generously probed her entrance with one of his fingers.

Her knuckles turned white trying to contain herself.

He showed no mercy and continued his assault, swirling his tongue around her clit and watching her face twist in pleasure. Her breasts heaved as she nearly rubbed against him, and he licked from her slit to her clit again — his index finger entered her and he almost stopped to feel his dick twitch — she was _tight_.

Extremely tight.

He slicked his finger with her juices and pumped his finger into her.

Sakura mewled at the new sensation — remembering this happening only once before she had sex with Shisui years ago.

It felt entirely new, and she couldn't believe his single finger felt like he was stretching her entirely, "ungh!"

He latched himself to her clit again, flicking his tongue over her and moaning to himself like a hungry beast devouring it's fresh prey. Sakura's blood pounded into her ears, and she covered her mouth to stop herself from crying out.

He added another finger, working his middle and index finger within her to get her ready for him.

Fuck, he wouldn't last long.

Pre-cum stained his pants, and each soft breath from the beautiful girl had his cock _hard._ He continued, generously pumping her with his fingers whilst swirling his tongue over her clit. Expertly, he rolled the nub and had her careening off the bed when he felt her thighs begin to quiver.

She was close.

Sakura could feel the unusual feeling suddenly swarm her.

It built in her abdomen, orchestrated by his tongue and fingers as he worked her.

Her toes curled and it hit her all at once.

"Yes, yes, _Sensei!_ " she silently screamed into her hand, biting down on her skin when her orgasm hit.

It rippled through her like a popped corkscrew. The wave of her first orgasm took her in large, loud rolls of white that left her like a puddle. Her walls tightly squeezed his fingers, and he sat between her legs thoroughly amazed by how responsive she was to him. A wolfish smirk crossed his features when he felt her clench around his fingers. He watched her walls contract around his finger as he continued to pump his fingers, drawing forth her needy whimpers.

Her body twitched in the aftermath of her orgasm, leaving her a hollow mess.

Tobirama kissed her sensitive nub — soaking in and lapping up her juices. She tasted divine, and he was sure he would get addicted to the taste of her. Slowly, he finished stretching her with his fingers.

He couldn't take it anymore.

His cock threatened to break through his pants if he waited, and he left her with a final kiss before working his pants off.

Sakura barely had time to recover, and she limply brought herself onto her elbows to look at him take off his pants.

When he dropped them and stood in front of her, she choked when she saw the _size_ of him.

A beautiful trail of silver led to the sharp V of his hips, joining the thick patch of white curls surrounding his cock. Sakura subconsciously licked her lips, he stood there like some unfair god — and she couldn't help but unbashfully stare at… _Him_.

There was no way.

He was _huge._

Thick and veiny, he was way bigger than her ex boyfriend — and nearly double the girth. His member looked perpetually smooth as the head leaked with pre-cum and dripped down onto the floor. He was beautiful, really, — but it wouldn't fit, it _couldn't_ fit. His fingers alone felt like she reached her limit, it would be impossible for him to fit inside of her.

Tobirama titled his head, ready to laugh at the way she stared at him.

Briefly, he wondered if she was still a virgin.

The way she suddenly flushed when she noticed his size and nervously gnawed on her lower lip were strong tells.

"Staring isn't polite, Sakura," his husky voice cut through her daze.

Before he could climb over her again, Sakura sat up and put her hand on his chest to stop him, "I wasn't staring!"

He raised a doubtful brow, "weren't you?"

Sakura couldn't be more red if she _tried_.

Mustering up her courage, the young girl tentatively looked up at him, "wait…"

Tobirama paused, scared he might have done something, "what?"

She pushed him back away from the bed, demurely pursing her lips and glancing down at his member, "I want to help you too…Sensei."

Sakura gathered herself and dropped to her knees, innocently staring up at him and his cock. Gently, she reached forward to wrap her fingers around him.

He could cum right now.

It had been _so_ long, and it wouldn't take much for her to get him to finish right here with the way she was shyly staring up at him, almost unsure of herself. Mei _never_ wanted to give him a blowjob. She did every so often in the beginning of their relationship, but soon enough she would tell him it's degrading and that she didn't like to — so he never asked.

Now with this beautiful girl and her emerald eyes hungrily looking at his cock, his thighs already felt weak.

Tentatively, Sakura licked his head — tasting him.

Salty, but not bad. In fact, she kind of liked it. Tentatively, she put him in her mouth. Her pink lips wrapped around him, swirling her tongue around his tip — trying to figure out a way to take him completely.

He filled her mouth, and Tobirama hissed at the wet contact of her mouth, "fuck," he groaned gravely, trying to keep his voice down.

Sakura took that as a good sign and continued to navigate her way through her first blowjob, her tongue ran up and down the length of his member, popping her mouth off the tip only to try and take him as deeply as she could. It was impossible, and when he touched the back of her throat it took everything in her not to gag and cough.

He laced his hand in her soft hair, urging her to pick up speed.

She obliged, readily sucking as much she could — when his hips reflexively snapped forward. Sakura gagged, but held it in. Tears pricked the corners of her eyes, and she worked her tongue on the underside of his shaft.

From his view, she looked gorgeous.

Flushed cheeks and a look of determination on her face — her throat vibrated around him when she softly moaned and reached between her thighs to play with herself.

"Oh fuckk, yess," he hissed.

His hand twisted in her hair and he lost control of himself. He thrust himself into her mouth, she could barely handle an inch or two after his head but it was enough. He felt the contortion in his thighs as his balls tightened — he wouldn't last much longer.

She bobbed her head once, twice, her tongue lapping around his head. He pushed himself further into her mouth and she sucked - hard.

His knees almost gave out when he came.

It bolted from his base and he clenched is hand tight in her hair, keeping her on his cock. His cum filled her mouth and she tried to relax her throat, sucking on his pulsing member. She wasn't prepared for _how much_ filled her mouth, the bitter substance ran down her throat with each spurt, and he kept her there — his silent groan made her walls clench in delight.

The way his mouth silently parted and face twisted in pleasure made Sakura momentarily proud of herself.

Seconds dragged by when he finally finished, and she sucked him off — making sure to not drop any. His legs still trembled after his orgasm, and he had to catch his breath in wonderment of the girl on her knees in front of him.

Some of his cum trailed off her lip when she let him go — only to see him hungrily stare down at her. Sakura licked her lip — the saltiness of his cum felt fresh on her tongue, and she wiped away the tears that leaked out of her eyes.

She didn't know what she was doing to him - she didn't know how fucking gorgeous she was.

He was a man gone.

Without hesitating, Tobirama lifted her up and kissed her. His mouth consumed her heady moans before he threw her on the bed. He was still hard after that to her surprise, and she opened her legs — ready for him.

He positioned himself at her entrance, holding himself up with one arm and using the other to guide his cock to prod her entrance, he flicked it a few times over her clit, making her pant at the raw and dominating masculinity this man possessed. He slid himself against her to lather himself with her juices, and Sakura whimpered in response, "Sensei!" she hushed.

Before he entered her, he looked down at the beautiful girl beneath him and paused, "…Sakura, are you a virgin?" he asked her seriously.

If he took this from her, he didn't know what would happen. If she wanted it with someone truly special to her, he couldn't do this. He wasn't so selfish of a man to take something special from her.

Breasts heaving, she looked up at him — face ashen with lust, "…no, Sensei."

His brows furrowed — a small, fickle part of him riled up with jealousy wondering _who_ she slept with.

Then it dawned on him that she was a dangerously pretty girl and she must have dozens of boys lined up to be with her. It made sense that she would have an ex-boyfriend or male in her life before this. Part of him didn't like it, and he would need an answer later.

Briefly, he wondered if it was that Naruto kid — and he flared with jealousy.

Sakura noticed the look on his face and brought her hand up to cup his cheek, that knowing smile on her face, "just once…And I didn't finish."

He flashed his cerise eyes over her rosy tinted body.

His nostrils flared.

Of course. Young men didn't know how to pleasure a girl, let alone did they really care.

So he would take it upon himself to mark her forever.

Tobirama dipped his lips and kissed her again. Sakura closed her eyes and felt him position himself at her entrance — she held her breath when he started to enter her. It _hurt_ , he pushed his head in and she already felt like she was being split apart.

Face twisted in pain, she bit her lip to stop herself from voicing her pain — _why is he so big?!_

"Oww," she sniveled, trying to keep a brave face.

Another inch and she clung onto him — her nails dug into the soft skin of his back while he peppered soothing kisses along her jawline, "are you ok?" he breathed, trying to hold himself back.

Determined, Sakura nodded her head — eyes clenched shut as he continued to stretch her walls.

It felt like an eternity as he filled her, she felt like she was being ripped in half and whimpered into his shoulder and bit down. ' _It hurts!'_ Inch by inch he slowly penetrated her, leaving her squirming and trying to bottle her pain.

"Shhh, baby girl — almost there."

 _Fuck_ she was tight.

He wasn't even halfway and her tight cunt clung to him like a vice. He continued to gently ease his length into her and lather her with affection to distract her, but he knew she was in pain. It took every ounce of self control to not completely fill her in one thrust.

Part of him was grateful she already sucked him off because he wouldn't have lasted longer than a minute.

Tobirama canted his hips and used his free arm to hook it under her leg so he could position himself better.

Inch by inch he slowly stretched her until he finally hilted her.

She felt her heart race once the thicket of his hair tickled her nether lips, and she stayed completely still. This was almost worse than losing her virginity — other than the sharp pain it brought and the blood - Tobirama was far, far bigger.

He waited until she stopped biting down on his shoulder to gently kiss him before he moved again.

Her face was flushed and she tested the waters by moving her hips.

The pain subsided as he stayed still inside her, waiting for her to let him move.

Sakura moved her hips again — the unfamiliar feeling of being completely filled with his member was strange, but she kissed his cheek and nodded her head, "I think…I think I'm ready," she murmured.

Slowly, he withdrew himself halfway before gliding himself in again, moaning low in his chest — she felt fucking amazing — her responsive body arched off the damp sheets as her legs wrapped around his hips when he hilted her again — this time drawing forth a moan from his student.

"You feel so good," he breathed heavily into her ear, thrusting again. Her tight walls felt like sweet velvet against his cock, and she sucked him in — gripping him to be seated completely inside of her.

Sakura heaved and adjusted herself, lying on the bed and gripping the sheets to anchor herself.

He picked up his pace, melding their hips together he hit a deep spot that made her see stars, "mm, more!" she pleaded.

Tobirama didn't need to be told twice.

He angled their bodies to lift her hips further into the air and began to thrust into the small pinkette beneath him. Their hips rolled together and the sound of their skin slapping together echoed in his room. His length disappeared into her tight cavern, and all Sakura could do was cling onto the man and drag her fingers across his back.

Low, animalistic grunts escaped him as he fucked her into his bed — a generous layer of sweat built on his skin, and he leaned down to capture her lips in another kiss.

Everything about her was sweet.

He would become an addict to the sound of her soft moans, the way her lips parted in a silent gasp each time he entered her passage, the delicate bounce of her breasts, and how she lost herself to the pleasure he brought her.

"You're so fucking wet," he ground out, each time he hilted himself in her the sound of her cunt slopped and she arched for him, his words making her pulse and tighten around him.

She cried out when she felt her body start to tighten and her thighs. Senseless, light-gasped moans surrounded him, but he put his hand over her mouth to quiet her. He didn't want Toneri waking up and walking in. Sakura clenched her eyes shut and whined into his hand, unable to take the building pressure in her abdomen and the way he spread her body, nearly splitting her in half.

She had never felt like this before.

The dull ache of his width was still there, but he was bringing forth a pleasure she had never even gotten close to by herself. White brimmed on the edges of her vision and she muffled her moans into his hand, forgetting that his son was down the hallway.

Sakura looked down between them and felt her body getting closer to the edge as he fucked her, watching as his cock disappeared into her folds and touched her g spot. Gods, she was so close, "oh my god," she muffled, "Sensei!"

His cock twitched.

Part of him got sickeningly turned on by the fact he was sleeping with his student.

Or in particular, this student.

He wanted to bring her to the end, and he increased his pace — their bodies conjoined in raw bliss. The teacher dominated her small body, plunging himself deeper into her until she was crying into his hand, her sounds and breathing muffled - only the sounds of his harsh groans and her heady pleading could be heard.

"Sensei, sensei!" she couldn't breathe. She couldn't think. Sakura lost sight of herself and could only see the man she fell in love with through half-lidded eyes. His gruff panting and low -masked moans made her walls clench as he drew pleasure from her core and to the tips of her toes.

Sakura couldn't hold on any longer.

Tobirama felt her body begin to quiver, and he didn't relent. He ruthlessly pinned her hips to the bed and sunk his length into her, pumping himself into her and whispering huskily in her ear, "cum, baby."

One last plunge into her cunt and she shattered.

Sakura sobbed into his hand, her body convulsed as her orgasm tore through her.

Like a spring, her cunt spasmed around him — trying to urge his own peak. Sakura's body violently shuddered, and he consumed her moan with his mouth — she couldn't kiss him, all she could do was ride out her second orgasm. Her walls contracted around him, and he watched in fascination as the young girl beneath him contorted pleasurably.

He didn't give her time to recover.

Her pussy still clenched around him when he pulled out — eliciting a small barge of protest from his student when he scooted himself off the bed and stood up. Grabbing her hips, he forcefully dragged her to the edge so her ass touched the lip of the bed.

Grabbing her legs, he spread her for him again and rammed himself into her — this time having ample view of his cock sinking into her passage. It looked raw and beautiful — his cock stretched her each time he pumped himself into her, her pink nether lips enveloped him, sucking him further and making him toss his head back to grip her legs and fuck her.

Sakura gasped, her sensitized body didn't have time to recover, and she covered her own mouth to stop herself from crying out. She could barely register the new position and angle, her body became a humming mantra of his name.

He kissed her calf, sucking on the salty and sweet skin — he bit down to silence his own loud groan.

His abs contracted in front of her for each thrust, his thick muscles threaded themselves over his body, highlighted by the sweat glistening on his body in the dim lighting of his room. Sakura swept her eyes over his perfect body — his face contorted in pleasure, the hair sticking to his face, his broad shoulders and wide chest, thin waist and toned thighs.

"Yes, yes!" she managed to cry.

She looked gorgeous.

Spread for him, her dainty body beckoned itself for more.

Her glimmering eyes were clouded with lust, and she reached in between them to rub her clit.

The sight in front of him spiraled him to the edge.

"I-I'm gonna cum," he growled, snapping his hips forward at a maddening pace. The sharp clap of their skin and his balls slapping against her ass shot him forward, and he grabbed her petite waist to give him purchase to draw her hips onto his cock.

Sakura threw her head back, pink hair splattered itself over his bed while she furiously rubbed her clit.

"Sensei!" she breathed.

He pumped himself into her tight cunt, using his strength to shove himself into her slick pussy.

They both felt the tip of their orgasm.

His thighs shivered.

Fuck.

It built higher, her engorged clit brought her closer and closer — his thick length spread her further as he brought her onto his cock. Once, twice, his cock started to pulse from the base of his balls when he felt her orgasm tear into her.

"Sak— Where do I cum?" he panted.

" _I-inside_ —!" she managed to choke out, Sakura bit the inside of her hand as she sobbed her release. It hit her sharp and fast, her abdomen convulsed and she helplessly grabbed onto the sheets when it rolled over her. Her vision blacked out as her body succumbed to her third orgasm.

She couldn't cry out.

White danced across her vision. The pleasure was too much, her eager body fell into the pleasure and it made her eyes roll back.

She fainted from the intensity of her peak.

Tobirama bit down his primal roar and grunted his release. He melded their hips together, his grip on her waist tightened and left bruising imprints on her skin when he finished inside of her.

Thick, hot cum released into her cavern, and he silently groaned — face askew as her walls sucked him for what he was worth. His cock pulsed inside of her, filling her with his cum in heavy spurts.

He kept them there until he was finished. The buzz of his orgasm left him lightheaded, and it was a long, intense seconds later when Sakura came to.

Blinking back her daze, she felt Tobirama pull himself out of her. She felt something warm dribble out of her and onto the bed, and she slowly tried to lift herself, but her limbs wouldn't work.

Tobirama watched as his cum leaked out of her exposed cunt, it looked beautiful spilling out of her pretty pink slit, and he tried to gather himself. He was spent, but he looked up to see Sakura almost passed out.

It was probably too much for her.

Catching his breath, he loomed over her and kissed her softly on the lips this time.

Sakura mewled and wrapped her arms around his neck, craving his close contact and the warmth of his body. Tobirama nuzzled her and inhaled the sultry scent of her post-sex and lifted her into his arms.

Too tired to protest, she settled herself in his arms — barely wondering where they were going.

"Let's get you cleaned up baby," he coddled the girl in his arms.

They reached the bathroom and he set her down to stand. Her legs felt similar to jelly, but he propped her against the counter. Sakura felt the loss of his touch, but he ran the shower until it warmed up.

Together, he took her into his shower and dipped her under the warm water. Their bodies were pressed against each other and he lathered up the soap to run it sensually over her body. His hands lathered the soap over the slope of her breasts, tickling her nipples and gently pinching the small nubs. Sakura leaned her head against his chest, moaning softly and in turn pressed her butt against his length.

He grinded against her full ass, taking his time to clean up his girl and memorize the generous curves of her body under the warm water.

His fingers slid over her passage, and she bit her lip to stop herself from getting worked up again.

It was close to four in the morning by now, and they needed to get to bed.

Besides, she didn't think she could handle another round.

He left kisses along her neck, proud of the bruised red marks that littered her collar bone and neck. She was _his_ , and he belonged to her. He had his own matching set on his chest from her biting him, and smirked to himself - hoping that whatever small boy was interested would now know that she was taken.

He took his turn to clean up, and Sakura helped him wash his back — mesmerized by the muscles that flexed on his back and shoulders. Her fingers tickled along his spine, and she ran the soap over his toned butt — thoroughly impressed and fascinated by his lithe body. Her scratch marks on his back were raw and red, and she hoped he didn't mind them, but she felt that they looked hot on his creamy skin.

She bit her lip, feeling like a pervert oggling over him like this.

Once they were done, he dried her — taking meticulous care of his student.

She winced when she tried to take a step, gods — she was gonna be sore in the morning if it felt like a splinter was lodged between her legs now.

Wordlessly, he carried her back to the bed when he noticed the small grimace on her face.

He lied down next to her and pulled her into his arms.

Arms wrapped tightly around her middle — with just the two of them and his gentle kisses to her shoulder and back, they fell into the comforting security of each other's presence. Words didn't need to be shared, the moment was too sweet and tender.

Two hurting souls found a small reprieve in their own world.

It was wrong, and too soon — but neither thought of the repercussions for now.

They fell asleep to their matching heartbeats lulling them into the comfort of oblivion.

For the first time in a long time, they both felt safe and _wanted._

And that's all a person really craves, isn't it?

xox

A timid knock woke Tobirama only four hours later.

Sunlight filtered into his room and he blinked back the lack of sleep. His body felt ten times heavier than it should, and there was a tangle of limbs stretched over him.

" _Papa!_ I'll be late for school!" Toneri's voice yelled through the door — his knock becoming more prominent.

"Papa, open the door!"

Tobirama bolted upright, "oh shit," he cursed under his breath — turning to see Sakura slowly rousing herself awake. She was completely naked beside him, the sheets did little to cover her ass and he could hear Toneri wiggling the knob open.

"Sakura!" he hushed, shaking her to wake her.

"Papaaaaaaa!"

His loud yell got her butt into gear and Sakura shot up - gripping the sheet to her chest to cover heself. She looked at Tobirama for help, wondering where the hell she was supposed to hide — "go to the bathroom and lock the door," he whispered quickly, urging her to hurry. He dodged out of bed and grabbed her clothes, quickly pulling them all together in a ball and stuffing them under his bed.

Sakura scrambled when the door started to open, adrenaline kick started her to run towards the bathroom. The soft ' _click'_ of the lock unlocking sounded like it was on a speaker as he tried to hurry and tgrab a fresh pair of boxers to pull them on.

His intuitive son entered as soon as he was decent, brows forced in irritation — single cheek being puffed out, "why didn't you open to door?"

For the first time in his life, he felt like he was being put on trial by his five year old, "I…Uh, I just slept in."

Toneri eyed his dad, crossing his arms childishly over his chest, "I'll miss pre-school! And Ayuda-sensei will give me a red card!"

"C'mon, we need to get you dressed," he dodged the accusations and moved to pick him up.

This wasn't their routine.

"I need to eat first, Papa. Are you ok?"

He nearly slapped himself, "right, right — let's make you something quick so we're not late."

Swooping his son in his arms, Toneri didn't seem to notice anything out of place.

When they were out of earshot, Sakura leaned against the bathroom door, sighing in relief — heart racing. What would have happened if they got caught? Oh god, she couldn't even imagine the questions or how confusing that would be for Toneri.

And so she was left stranded in the bathroom for ten minutes until her sensei knocked on the door, when she cracked it open he was looking as bad as she was, "sorry," he apologized, "I should have set an alarm…" he rubbed the back of his head, unsure how to put this.

"I have to take him to school…Do you mind waiting here? It's only a few minutes away so I'll be back soon. Then I can drive you, is that ok?"

Sakura could only manage a fierce nod, realizing everything they did last night.

He thanked her and left — the laughter of Toneri rang throughout the house, his incessant talking reminded her of herself when she was little, but she needed to prioritize what she was doing.

Briefly, she looked at the shower and covered her face in embarassment — her face as pink as her hair.

 _We showered_ _together!_

His hands were all over her, his mouth kissed her everywhere last night, and he made her feel... _Everything_. She padded her way to the mirror and covered her mouth to stop the gasp.

"Oh wow," she breathed — looking at all of the love marks that marred her neck and collar bone.

Even her hips were bruised, and it brought forth all of the memories of him on top of her last night. She bit her lip, unbelieving that it happened. She would need to wear makeup over those for at least a week and her bruises could last upwards to a week - he left his claim on her and didn't hold back. The thought of it made her warm again, but she pushed back her perverted thoughts.

She went to take a step, but a harsh throb between her legs made her stop.

The adrenaline had been hiding it before, but she was _sore_.

So incredibly sore that it was difficult to walk now that she wasn't preoccupied with not getting caught by his son. Wincing with each step, the pain seemed to get worse. It felt like she was being stabbed and stretched all at the same time, and she wobbled her way to the bedroom — slowly easing her muscles to grab her clothes he hid away and shimmy them back onto her.

Then it came to her.

She stared at his bed, the rumpled sheets, and his discarded clothing.

This was _their_ bed.

Mei may have left, but she was probably sleeping here only a few nights ago…And they had sex on his bed, probably. Sakura felt a sudden rush of shame, and she quickly put on her clothing to distract herself.

Was it right?

They were technically divorced.

He said he had feelings for her…But what if it was a mistake?

She sat on the edge of the bed. The sheets were stained from her, and she internally debated with herself - dreading what might happen once he realized what they did. It was easy to get lost in the moment, but she didn't regret it. It would kill her if he came back and had a talk with her about how it couldn't happen again.

Was this a one time thing?

Sakura whole heartedly loved him, and she knew he might _care_ for her - it was too soon for him to say anything beyond that.

Her mind raced a mile a minute, too consumed by the thoughts of what they did to notice him coming back. When she heard the front door close she snapped out of it and put on a bright smile.

Tobirama poked his head into his room, spotting the pretty head of pink — a white bag filled with two bagels and a cup of coffee in hand, "hungry?"

They ate in relative silence, Sakura still beaming scarlet while he amicably talked about Toneri. His son made him the happiest, that much was clear. Toneri was his focus in life, and it was nice to see him recall their conversations — it made her smile.

It was a sharp contrast compared to the night before, and that was a relief for her to see him in slightly better spirits. Once she finished her food, she tried to stand to throw away her plate and winced, the pain of last night still with her.

"Are you alright?" Tobirama stood to help her stand, concern etched in his face. She shook her head — too embarrassed to say what it was.

"…I'm fine," she lied.

His face demanded the truth, and a shiver ran down her spine, "uh…It's just that…I'm really sore," she murmured, looking away from him.

"Sore?"

_Really?!_

"Yeah… _Sore_ , Sensei," she huffed, emphasizing.

The look of recognition crossed him, and he helped her sit again and took her plate, "oh…Well just sit," it was funny to see him out of sorts — the usually stoic man she saw each class was much different than this off-guard, slightly nerdy one that was here now.

"Do you need a pain killer?" he offered her, rummaging through his cabinet.

Sakura giggled and put her hands up, "no no! It's ok, I think I'll just take a warm bath later."

In hindsight, one would think the mood would be much more somber — but they both chatted until it was time for him to get to school.

The drive to her dorm was peaceful, she talked about some of her classes and he subconsciously reached over for her hand. Sakura almost died when he brought the back of her hand to his lips as he listened to her — his eyes on the road.

The way the morning sunlight highlighted his face wasn't fair, and she groaned internally for the beautiful man that was doting her with this new affection she had never received before.

"Madara-sensei can be a pain, but I'll admit he's a good teacher," she finished her story, half distracted by the simple way he held onto her hand.

Tobirama frowned, rolling his eyes at the mention of the name, "he's your teacher, too? He's my brother's best friend…For whatever reason."

"Oh, well I don't mind his class," Sakura defended, "…you don't like him?" she inquired.

He shrugged, "he's alright. We've butted heads in the past. His brother is one of my best friends."

"Oh, Izuna-san?" Sakura finished.

He briefly looked at her, wondering how the hell she knew so many people mixed in his life, "yeah, how do _you_ know him?"

Sakura looked out the window, smiling to herself, "before you got to Mito-san's party he dropped off a bottle of sake and a late birthday shower present for the baby. He seems like a nice man. He asked me how it was to be a student of 'three of the most asshole teachers in existence," she quoted Izuna, laughing at the memory.

"—Tsunade-shishou kicked him out after that."

He side-eyed her, unable to stop himself from smiling at her ease and happiness. She was infectious like that — her smile was contagious, and he squeezed her hand, trying to keep that happiness with him, "Izuna is a righteous prick. Don't listen to him."

She started uncontrollably laughing.

"What?"

"He said you would say that!"

Tobirama heaved a sigh — _Asshole._

Much too quickly, they arrived to the parking lot of her dorm. He put it in park and Sakura pursed her lips, unsure of how things like this went. Would she call him? Would he call her? Would this be the end? How would it be in class? Was it a one time thing?

She didn't know.

He answered her wired thoughts by tilting her chin towards him and capturing her in a quick kiss.

"I want you to know that I meant what I said last night," Tobirama said, eyes penetrating her own.

Sakura nodded, heart clenching. Her hand drew up to her chest, and she kissed him back — eliciting a storm of emotions that she didn't know if she could control.

"I would offer to walk you back to your room, but…"

The clear rule they broke meant they would need to stay a secret. Between his divorce and her age, and her being his _student,_ they couldn't risk getting caught. Sakura said goodbye with a smile and left the comfort of his car back to her dorm. It was hard because she was still hurting, but right before she entered the building, she turned back to wave at him — a bright smile shone his way.

It wasn't until he made it to the University and in his office that he realized the mistake he made.

The reality of the situation wasn't good.

He had Toneri to think about, he had to find out where Mei was — and here he was not a day after signing the divorce papers sleeping with one of his students. He sat at his desk and pressed his palms to his eyes, suddenly craving a cigarette.

It was true…He found himself drawn to Sakura.

But he had to think of Toneri.

Part of him felt inclined to his mistake, but he did enjoy her company. Something about her made him feel young again, maybe it was her fresh outlook on life or the simple way she understood him. Her appreciation of life made him happy. Even her smile brought a relative ease to his life in only a matter of a few meetings. She was intelligent and well mannered - but their circumstances weren't right.

He was no liar, and he would be the first to recognize that Sakura made him happy.

Tobirama rubbled his temples, he had exams to grade before his next class — he couldn't think about this right now.

xox

"You WHAT?!" came the loud screech from the other side of the telephone.

Sakura stayed silent, biting her lip in unconfined excitement, "I know!"

"Wow Forehead, and this is some guy you met in class?" Ino confirmed, proud of her best friend.

"Yeah," it wasn't a _total_ lie. She did meet Tobirama in class. It was just the truth peppered with some salt.

"Is he tall?"

"Yes!"

Sakura toyed with the ends of her hair, happy Karin had classes all day today so she would have the dorm to herself.

"…Is he good in bed?" Ino pried. This would be one of the hundreds of questions Ino would have for her, and she was prepared to answer them all.

Sakura remembered the way he worked her body the night before. The slight part of his lips and his name ghosting on her lips when he was inside her made her squirm, "….yes."

Ino whistled across the phone, "I didn't think you had it in you out there without me, Forehead."

She rolled her eyes, "whatever Pig, you should have more faith in me."

"Yeah yeah," Ino brushed her off, "did you use protection?"

"Ah—" Sakura paused, the color draining from her face. She couldn't remember if they even talked about a condom — and he didn't roll one on without her thinking, "oh."

"You _idiot_!" Ino yelled at her, "you need to get emergency contraception, are you _trying_ to get pregnant your first year in university?"

Sakura counted the days from when her period last started and looked at the calendar hanging by her bed. Nine days. Her cycle fell in line on a twenty eight day cycle…Sooo she _should_ be safe since eggs didn't normally fall until fourteen days after someone's period.

That didn't mean it was entirely safe.

"And what if he has something? Why are you so stupid when it comes to boys, Sakura!? The same thing happened with Shisui!"

"Alright! I'm gonna go to the nurse on campus right now!"

"You better you tramp!"

They hung up with Ino's death threat of a promise of losing her best friend to taking care of a kid at such a young age, and Sakura suddenly panicked.

Why didn't she think of a condom?

They were in the moment, and she didn't plan on going over there to sleep with him — it just _happened._ It hadn't crossed her mind to think of protection, and in the middle of it all she even told him to finish inside of her.

_Why am I so stupid?!_

Since she had an evening class that night, Sakura packed all of her books so she could study at the library after she went to the nurses office.

After an extremely awkward doctor's visit — she had the contraception in a brown bag tucked to her chest, and she was so focused on reading the directions on the way to the library she didn't see the bike rider barreling towards her in the middle of campus.

" _Watch out!_ "

It wasn't until she heard the screech of the tires that she looked up to see someone launching their bike sideways and yelling at her to move before that same body came crashing into her.

Pain throbbed different parts of her body, and she a wave of dizziness hit her. When she realized that the biker was on top of her, all she could see was a mess of monochromatic brown and white hair.

"Ow, ow, ow," Sakura winced — holding her head. The pain radiated from somewhere on her head and arm, and she wondered if she broke anything because of the fall.

The body on top of her moved and lifted themselves, face dreaded with guilt, "I'm so sorry!" warm, honey brown eyes stared down at her — and she wearily looked up at the rather good looking student on top of her.

He looked familiar, but maybe it was the pain making her hallucinate. He looked like her Sensei, almost eerily similar aside from the difference in his hair color.

"Are you ok?! Why were you in the bike lane?!"

"Uh—"

"I think I need to take you to the nurses office, come — can you get up?" he talked a mile a minute, and slowly he helped her sit up.

Sakura put her hand up to stop him, "no, no — I'll be ok."

The boy got on his knees, crouching to try and keep her upright, "I didn't even see you."

She held her head and played it off, "no, really it's ok. I shouldn't have been walking in the bike lane."

When she finally got a good look at him, she noticed it was one of the student body councilmen.

"Here, let me help you up."

Slowly, they stood up together and Sakura got her bearings, "thanks," she murmured, "I'll be fine — I think I just need to lie down."

"No, I'll take you to my aunt. She's a doctor —"

"Your aunt?" Sakura moved to gather her things, but he beat her to it and handed her her bag and the brown plastic bag that (thank goodness) didn't spill it's contents.

"Yeah, she's a professor here too — Tsunade Senju."

Sakura whipped her head to look at him and suddenly realized that she wasn't crazy or hallucinating, there was a reason why he looked just like her sensei.

He kept his arms around her as she stood, "I would have loved to meet you under better circumstances…But I'm Itama Senju."

His smile was genuine and he pulled away to stick his hand out, "pleasure to meet you, beautiful."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, please leave a comment if you enjoy this story ~~ It fuels my motivation  
> Also, thank you for being patient on this update - I really appreciate it.


	6. Cherry Cola

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Another special dedication to Karen for helping me continue to story board this story, you're amazing.

What the fuck was he thinking?

What the **fuck** was he thinking?

People always claimed Hashirama was the more problematic brother, but Tobirama managed to reserve his royal screw ups in a way that his brother could never. Not only did he get a divorce, lose his wife, and jeopardize his job. He also _fucked_ his student. Not just had sex with her, but fucked her in his bed where Mei slept only a few nights ago with Toneri sleeping down the hallway.

It sickened him that he didn't regret it.

In fact, he loved it. There was something raw and carnal about what they did that he couldn't stop thinking about. He remembered the sight of her completely open for him, and it was taking a horrid amount of self-control to not let what they did dictate all of his thoughts.

Tobirama kept his forehead rested on his steering wheel, contemplating his life decisions.

It was more than just sex. He opened up to Sakura more in a couple of days than he ever did to Mei during the entire duration of their marriage. There was something precariously warm and innocent about Sakura that made his tongue loose. His stomach felt sour knowing that he was beginning to rely on his student.

Gods.

He could lose his job.

Then what for his son?

Tobirama kept his eyes close, feeling heat rise to his face.

It had been a couple of days since Sakura came over, and even now he was wondering why she hadn't texted him back yet. His phone felt heavy in his pocket as he waited, they texted nearly all day since the time he dropped her off, and he would be seeing her in two more days in class — how could this spiral so easily? Even now, _knowing_ he could lose everything, he wanted to see her. He meant everything he said to her before — he wasn't a liar. He didn't like the sensation of having something to say and keeping it in — he said what he felt no matter who he was talking to, which normally got him into more trouble growing up, but it served to give him credibility as an adult.

Which is why it worried him that he was quickly becoming enchanted by his student and the repercussions of that decision. He didn't want to fit into the middle-age socket of men that fall for younger women that are in their tutorship — it was a cliche he didn't want to be a part of.

Yet here he was.

His phone vibrated in his pocket.

Grabbing it — he already knew who it was and felt himself lean back in his seat in excitement.

_Hi! Sorry I just got out of class! Did you still want to hang out later? (:_

Tobirama gripped his phone, internally debating.

_-Can you? Don't you have homework?_

_-It's finished already_

_-Only if I'm not interrupting anything._

_-I'm meeting a friend at the square later, but after I'll go over (:? I can get a taxi._

_-Don't. I'll wait for you, I have to grade exams anyway._

_-Ok! Sounds like a plan_

_-See you._

She didn't respond, and vaguely he wondered who she could be meeting at the square — a communal area for the students to study and eat, but he didn't worry about it for too long. Hashirama was picking up Toneri from school today, so it left him some breathing room to gather his thoughts in the comfort of his office for a few hours and give him time to search for Mei.

xox

  
_Tokyo Medical University_

Sakura was panicking.

For hours now she dreaded getting ready for her alleged date, but she didn't consider it a date — she made it abundantly clear it **wasn't** a date. Itama finagled her into having dinner with him as an apology for running into her and nearly breaking her arm, and she profusely declined until he pouted and told her it wasn't a date — just two friends going to eat. That placated her enough, so she accepted.

Except some self-inflicted guilt still ate at her thinking this was wrong.

So she went home, took her birth control and decided to get ready early.

Either way, she would be seeing her sensei later and she wanted to be presentable.

Arriving to the square in a simple cherry colored sweater and shorts, she spotted the two-toned mop of hair atop the lively face of Itama. He was standing tall, talking amicably with a group of undergrads like herself — his face lit up the room. Unlike that of his stoic temperamental brother that she fell in love with, he seemed to be the perfect blend of both Tobirama and Hashirama — a seriousness in life when he needed to accomplish things, and the jovial, infectious personality that everyone loved about Hashirama.

He spotted her from across the room and said his goodbyes before walking over, "ah, it's the most beautiful girl on campus!"

Itama pulled her into a hug, and everyone's eyes in the cafe' trailed after their councilman and burned into her skin. Sakura blushed mad, the heat quickly rose to her face and she suddenly tugged away, "you can't just say that!"

He gave her a peculiar look, "why not? It's the truth."

"Not with everyone looking!" she shushed him, feeling the eyes of her peers watch their every move. Whispers started to echo, and he noticed the discomfort on her face.

"Let's go eat," he suggested, leading her to a quiet corner.

Oddly enough, it was the same corner seating that she normally chose when she wanted a quiet place to study, and she sat herself down where nobody could see her. Itama sat across from her, charm rolling off of him in waves.

"So you know my aunt?" he began, waiting for the waitress.

"Yeah — I'm her apprentice."

He whistled, "that's rare! I remember the last apprentice she had left back home in tears. My aunt can be a little… tough," he laughed, thoroughly impressed.

"I really like Tsunade-shishou, she's been very good to me. I'm not from Tokyo…So it's nice having someone care so much," Sakura explained, warming at the thought of her shishou.

"Well at least she likes you, it's hard to get through to her sometimes. But then again, she did always want a girl, so—"

"She says you're her favorite," Sakura cut him off and smiled at him — finding it incredibly easy to talk to Itama.

He winked, "that's not very hard. Hashirama enables her gambling and Tobirama…" he trailed off.

Sakura could see he didn't want to pry into deeper family matters, but Sakura already knew the points of contention in the tight knit family. At the mention of her sensei's name, goosebumps rose on her skin. "Is a brute?" Sakura teased.

Itama laughed harder than he should in the quiet cafe, and he had to hold his side to reign himself in, "that's the word. I forget that you've acquainted with my whole family in some way or another. You're taking human physiology with him, right?"

The aspiring doctor nodded and bit the inside of her cheek, before the heat could warm her face at the innocent insinuation, the waitress came over and took their order. Ordering an iced tea for herself, she almost missed the pout on Itama's face, "I promised to pay for your dinner, Sakura-chan — _please_."

So instead she ordered soup.

Itama raised his brow once their food came, but found it endearingly cute as she quietly ate in front of him, blowing on her spoon to cool off her soup. He wanted to know more about the quiet transfer student he ran into earlier that day. "Do you like my brother's class?"

She visibly perked at the question, like a light went off around her and she beamed, "I do! He's a really amazing Sensei."

Confused by her answer, most students he knew that took his brother's course loathed it, "really?" he chuckled, taking a bite of his sandwich, "that's an unusual answer. Most people say he's too difficult."

"Most people aren't me," she answered automatically before realizing she sounded horribly stuck up. Blushing, she half-expected him to be giving her a glare, but instead he paused in his eating and smirked — all too similarly to her sensei when he found her interesting.

And Itama's interest was piqued by the peculiar pinkette.

Sakura couldn't help but realize how much more similar Itama was to Tobirama.

They were nearly the same in the face.

Where Tobirama's face was sharper and more severe, Itama's was lighter — but their lips and nose were identical. Itama held the same warmth as Hashirama's honey colored eyes, but he was a different type of handsome all by himself, and Sakura hated that she saw Tobirama in another individual. It made her stomach flutter happily.

"You're interesting, Sakura-chan — I like you," he declared and leaned closer to her over the table. He reached forward and brushed a loose piece of hair off of her face in their quiet corner.

Sakura stopped eating and set down her spoon, eyes widening by his light touch, "….Itama-senpai?" she squeaked.

xox

 

Tobirama finished grading early and the rumbling of his stomach forced him to leave his office. Since he would be taking Sakura to his house, he might as well grab her a bite to eat all well. Toneri enjoyed the muffins at the Square, so he wanted to grab a few of those. And after, he could wait in his office until she was done.

Little could shock the weary professor, and in the past week he did more to unravel his life than ever before — but he truly didn't expect to feel the sharp jab of jealousy that gutted him when he walked up to the square and saw his pink haired student sitting across his brother through the window.

Itama's fingers were brushing against her face, and Sakura was giving him the same look that she gave _him_.

That innocent, doe eyed look with her lips parted.

Tobirama's jaw clenched, and the smug look on his brother's face was enough to make his stomach curl in annoyance.

Did she do this with all the males in her life?

They didn't _look_ like friends amicably talking.

They looked like they were on a _date_.

Sakura looked away from his brother, hiding a bashful smile and drawing her hand to where Itama touched her face.

His red eyed narrowed, remembering Sakura naked and sprawled out on his bed after he fucked her — except the image of her and his brother served to sicken him. Realizing he looked like a creep watching two students through the window, Tobirama geared himself to obstruct his brother's little " _date."_

He would pay them a little visit.

Truly, he had all intent and purposes to make it abundantly clear to his womanizer of a little brother that Sakura had already been in his bed, but the large wall of their strict Student-Teacher relationship prevented him from saying anything of the sort.

So instead, he walked up to them and behind Sakura. When Itama's eyes landed on him, the younger brother's face fell — clearly disappointed, making Tobirama inwardly smirk.

When he arrived, Itama nearly jumped up to greet his brother, "Onii-san! I didn't know you stayed on campus this late?"

Sakura froze in her seat, heart dropping to her stomach when she felt the familiar presence of her sensei standing right next to her.

_'_ _Oh no, this is bad.'_

"S-sensei?" Sakura shot up and hid her hands behind her back and bowed.

"Haruno-san," he greeted coldly.

When their eyes met, Tobirama's cold expression towards her made her throat dry.

"I decided to stay and get some work done before I pick him up Toneri Hashirama's," he answered his brother.

Itama frowned, "is he upset that I couldn't make it to Mito's birthday? I had so many meetings—"

"Save it for Tsuna, she was more upset than Hashirama, to be honest I think he forgot you were supposed to come."

"Right, ouch, " Itama sighed, "oh! I didn't mean to be rude — Sakura-chan — Tobi is my older brother."

"We've met before," Tobirama cut in, "she's also my student, but I had the pleasure of meeting Haruno _out of class_ at the dinner you missed," he emphasized distinctly enough for her to catch.

The clear innuendo made her back tickle in shame.

Sakura looked away, unsure of how to handle this situation. She prayed that she wouldn't start blushing in front of Itama and blow their cover, but she couldn't figure out if Tobirama was upset with her or not.

"Now I'm more upset I didn't go," Itama let his eyes sweep unforgivingly over Sakura, and it made Tobirama glare at his brat of a brother.

"—Well Tobi, if you'll excuse us and let us get back to our date—"

"It's _not_ a date!" Sakura snapped, edging on anger if she could muster it before turning to Tobirama to explain. "Itama-senpai ran into me with his bike this morning and insisted that he take me out to eat as an apology," she explained rather quickly.

Itama pouted, but wondered about her quick defense to their date.

"Are you alright?" Tobirama questioned her, nearly ignoring his brother.

Sakura nodded, "yes, Sensei."

Tobirama turned to his brother, "you need to be careful. It isn't becoming of a member of the student council to injure another student," Tobirama's sharp, reprimending voice made Itama suck in an irritated breath.

"Yes, Onii-san."

Satisfied with his time here, the professor decided to take his leave, "I'm leaving, don't forget to call our aunt, Itama."

" _Yes_ , Onii-san," Itama bit out again, hoping to end this discussion.

"Sakura," Tobirama flicked his gaze towards her a second longer, but seemed visibly more relaxed than when he first arrived, which calmed the young student, "don't forget to study for the exam on Thursday."

Bidding them both goodbye, Tobirama left the two and bought Toneri a muffin.

On his way out, he felt the curious, wanting gaze of his pinkette before she returned her attention back on his brother.

Once outside, he turned to face the two sitting across from each other again. Itama was laughing and Sakura held a small smile, and it suddenly crossed him that they looked like a _normal_ , young couple enjoying dinner together. He watched them for a minute longer, Sakura was obviously keeping her distance — and it was sort of humorous how she quickly nulled any notion that they were on a date, which actually calmed the raging storm that he found himself in prior to confronting them.

Still.

They looked _normal_.

He tried to envision Sakura nd himself out in public having a simple dinner without the problems that came with their relationship. They couldn't be seen out together, and if they got caught he would lose the last security in his life.

He loved his job, and he loved Toneri.

He was risking both for his beautiful student, and it irritated him that they didn't have the freedom to do such things — but that's how it had to be for now.

When his phone rang and Toneri animatedly asked when he would be getting picked up, Tobirama decided to leave. Sakura would be safe enough to walk to her dorm, and if Itama were any type of gentleman, he would walk her back.

He needed time to think again.

She had the opportunity to be with any other male her age, and he was taking that from her.

Though, there was always a level of selfishness he recognized within him.

Was it wrong to be mad at his brother for taking Sakura on a date?

It was, but he didn't care.

And he still wanted her.

xox

Sakura had never been walked back to her home before, well not really.

Naruto didn't count.

She missed him, and in the shadow of the student councilman where people waved and stopped Itama to bring up different projects and things that needed to be done every twenty steps, it was odd that she chose now to think of her rambunctious friend. Her heart physically ached at the thought of him. Naruto would follow her home for years no matter how much she protested — the fond memories made her smile to herself.

When they finally reached the quiet stretch to her dorm, Itama rubbed the back of his head in guilt, "sorry about all of that — I know it's rude."

"Don't worry about it, you have a lot of responsibilities," she commented politely.

Itama glanced down at the pretty girl walking next to him, "I'm really surprised I haven't met you yet, Sakura-chan — did you join any clubs? I'm sure I would have seen you somewhere—"

Sakura almost missed what he said, her thoughts drifted from Naruto to Tobirama — half wondering why he left, "oh! Well I don't really go out that often, so that's probably why."

She hated talking about her lack of friendship. It was a difficult spot in her life, and loneliness clung to her like a hungry snake - so it was a wonder she was out at all right now.

They were at the font steps of her dormitory, glowing faces under the lantern street lights.

"Well, why not?"

Sakura bit her lip, eyes averted, "I…Don't really know many people here. Plus with my overload on classes and homework, it's almost impossible to make friends."

He could sympathize with that. It was hard making friends in the city — their amicable conversation after his brother left was filled with tidbits of information, more like him prying into her life, but he was so fascinated he couldn't help himself. "Then it'll be my pleasure to introduce you to some people here! I know I pushed this dinner on you, but how about this weekend you come into the city with me and a couple of friends? I think you'll like them."

The thought of being the odd one out in a new group terrified her, but Itama was nice and welcoming — and she really did want to make friends. Everyday the loneliness ebbed and chipped at her wellbeing, so it was a golden opportunity.

"Yeah, I'd like to go," she finally decided, her mood suddenly airy and light. Looking towards her dorm, she moved to say goodnight — "thank you for dinner, I had a nice time."

"Nice meeting you, Sakura-chan." He _wanted_ to hug her, he _wanted_ to continue their conversation — but for the first time the humble and talkative young Senju couldn't find the right words to say. The bundle of nerves in his stomach made him question himself.

"Goodnight, Itama-senpai."

And then she left.

Unknown to him he reminded her eerily of his brother, and her thoughts were quickly swept away by her sensei.

xox

  
The next two days Tobirama ignored her text messages.

She messaged him that night, and he briefly text her goodnight and apologized for leaving — apparently Itama did walk her back to her dorm.

The fire of jealousy in his chest was churning his will that morning.

A level of clarity hit him last night, but this morning he _hated_ the idea of Itama pursuing Sakura while he couldn't do anything about it. It didn't help that he tried calling Mei and her parents once again after Toneri questioned him that morning about his mom and he turned up with nothing.

That bitch was hiding from their son.

Her parents weren't at all concerned about her leaving, just for him to fix it for appearances sake. Whatever bullshit she was feeding her parents and job were none too concerned, especially considering her work told him she was on a temporary extended leave.

In short, he was in a shitty mood.

And for reasons beyond him, he didn't know why he ended up in the professor's lounge instead of his office where Madara came to sit across from him and chat.

Today wasn't his day.

"You're in a sour mood, did something happen?" Madara pried.

Tobirama shrugged him off, "too much has happened."

"We all told you not to get married, she was a snake —"

He lifted his eyes from his book and glared at the Uchiha, "Hashirama told you Mei left?"

Madara fixed his glasses on the bridge of his nose, "there isn't much he keeps from me. Is there anything you need? I can help with watching Toneri."

For the first time in his life, Madara was being… _Helpful_. Usually they ended up in sideways snippets of underhanded arguments that revolved around Hashirama. Tobirama could count on one hand how many times Madara and him truly got along — but that usually involved a lot of alcohol before that.

"No. Thanks," Tobirama side-eyed the history professor.

Checking his watch, he decided to take his leave, "I better get to my next class."

Madara followed in pursuit, "I should head that way too."

IF it were in him, the Senju would have rolled his eyes.

They kept it to minimal small talk about his marital problems, and the bachelor of a history professor tried to give _him_ advice about _his_ divorce.

The irony of it all was too much for him.

Trying to keep his cool, Tobirama spotted a flash of pink in the corner of his eye. Knowing the signular head of pink on an intimate level, the professor turned to see Sakura walking by herself to her next class, books pressed to her chest. She was wearing her uniform and thigh-highs that hugged her toned legs, and something within him stirred at the sight of her.

Blocking Madara's incessant chatter, he watched her disappear into one of the buildings, snapping out of it when Madara put a hand on his shoulder, holding in a small chuckle.

"You poor fool, you shouldn't check out your students, Senju," Madara snarked.

Tobirama blinked and resumed his walk, thoroughly embarrassed, "I wasn't."

"You're a horrible liar," the Uchiha teased, "you always have been. Though I don't blame you, she's a pretty little thing."

The statement drenched him in cold water, and Tobirama stopped in his tracks to give Madara a glare, "don't say that."

Madara shrugged, hands stuffed in his pant pockets, "she's _my_ student as well. And I'm a man with eyes, it isn't hard to see she's a beauty. Eye catcher too with her hair…I wonder if she's pink down there, _too_."

His fist clenched, and overwhelming need to protect her honor surged, if he could punch the slimy Uchiha he would have, "we shouldn't be speaking of students like this, you lech."

This made the dark haired male laugh, "I can't speak of her, but you can fuck her with your eyes? You're a liar if you tell me you haven't thought of her bent over in that small skirt at least once."

Tobirama burned with shame, because he did far more than just _think_ of her.

The memory of his cum leaking out of her passage derailed him.

Madara slung an arm around Tobirama, smirk sharp on his face, before taking his leave he said, "don't worry — I won't tell anyone. Just keep it in your pants, kid."

Tobirama was left standing alone on his way to class, throughly annoyed and cursing this awful day to hell.

xox

Sakura was all nerves.

He hadn't texted her back the morning, and it made her rethink her decision to say yes to Itama. Clutching her books to her chest, the pinkette warily entered Tobirama's classroom to see the usual early students — but he was nowhere to be found. It wasn't until the class was bustling and completely full that Tobirama entered, sour look on his face. The group of students collectively sighed, knowing that he would be in a bad mood and would no little patience for their incompetence.

Even sitting towards the back, Sakura tried to catch his attention, but like the many weeks before this — he didn't pay her any attention. He didn't call on her to answer questions, and everytime his eyes swept over the room they completely bypassed her.

It was like nothing happened between them.

Part of her worried it was because of her dinner with Itama, but she clearly explained to him what happened and he seemed ok? Her anxiety was getting the better of her — did she do something wrong? Did he think they should stop seeing each other? Did his wife come back?

So many things could factor into his blatant ignoring, andshe calmed herself and decided to pay attention after worrying half the class. She would just talk to him after.

Tobirama didn't like ignoring her.

He could see her trying to catch his attention, but he couldn't risk his job more than he already did. They needed to keep a strict student-teacher relationship facade in public, although he could feel her disappointment as class waned on further.

Plus, he was unsettled.

At the sight of her, something oddly primal bristled like a tiger prowling in a cage.

Madara's words from earlier pissed him off — not just because it came from that damn Uchiha, but because the truth of the matter was that he was a middle aged man that had sex with his student who was so innocent that she didn't see the eyes that followed after her and the different males that wanted her.

For the first time in his life, he was jealous.

Jealousy wasn't attractive, but the image of her and his brother looking like a normal couple made his stomach coil and his jaw clench.

To contain himself from the horrid thoughts that were getting in the way of him focusing on his lecture, he decided to ignore her.

When class ended, he quickly left to his office and didn't spare her a glance back. He was still unsure if they should continue, he was taking advantage of her kindness and she didn't deserve the truck load of baggage he came with, but he knew a sick part of him couldn't let go.

By the end of class, Sakura was panicking.

Biting her lip to stop herself from overreacting, she wondered if it was a good idea to go to his office.

Deciding to stuff her worry aside, she pulled down her skirt and tucked her hair behind her ear before gripping her books and walking to his office. The other students cleared out, and she wound her way through the halls until his large oak door tucked in the corner beckoned her forward. Blood pounded to her ears from her nervousness, and she hated the way heat rose to her neck - as if they didn't already make out in here before.

Knocking on his door, she wasn't prepared for the stiff, "come in," that followed.

Hesitantly, Sakura entered — "Sensei?"

Tobirama was sitting at his desk, his face a mix of frustration and annoyance.

At the sight of him, her chest fluttered happily, "Is everything ok?" she asked softly, slowly making her way up to him.

"Sakura, sit down," he commanded, still refusing to look at her.

She sat down instantly in the chair in front of his desk, skirt lifting as she put her book bag to the side and crossed her legs, "what is it…?"

She didn't want to know the answer.

Tobirama was struggling to gather himself. He wanted a fucking cigarette, he clenched his jaw and closed his eyes, trying to find the right words.

"Are you mad at me?" Sakura pressured, leaning forward in her chair. Her brows furrowed in worry and her lips parted, and he lifted his gaze to memorize the curvatures of her face.

She was _killing_ him.

She was unraveling his hard demeanor in a matter of days.

He felt entranced.

"No, I'm not," he bit out, noticing the way her skirt lifted to reveal more of her teasing thighs.

"Then why are you ignoring me?" she insisted, putting her hands on his desk, "you told me all those things the other day…And now you're ignoring me. If you're upset about my dinner with your brother — I swear—!"

She could ramble, he noticed.

Another small, endearing tidbit he was starting to love.

" **Stop** ," his deep voice stalled the words in her throat, and she didn't know how to react.

All he could think about was what Madara said.

He was losing himself to the fine line of their forbidden relationship.

But he wanted her.

And he hated himself for it.

He hungrily craved her, and now that she was sitting in front of him he craved _all_ of her. He wanted to devour her and leave her gasping for breath and crying for a release. It was wrong, and he should know better. He wanted her attention and her support, she was his and he wanted her to know that.

"S-Sensei?" Sakura noticed the way he looked at her, it was the same look her gave her the other night. It was the look Itama briefly gave her, it was the look that made her thighs clench and a new, insatiable heat rise between her legs. She could see the mental battle he was having, and she realized _why_ he was struggling. She bit her lip, trying to gain the bravery to ease his worry. He was a kind man, and she could see he didn't want to drag her along further - but she was too far gone to care.

Tobirama took a steadying breath, trying to regain his composure.

He couldn't do this to her.

He cared about her, and all the things he said were true — but he couldn't justify his selfish desires and push them on an impressionable student.

While battling his own demons, he missed Sakura standing up and slowly rounding the desk. He missed the tempting, coy flicker in her eyes, and he didn't notice she was standing next to him until she was leaning on his desk — skirt flipping higher than normal.

When he opened his eyes, he watched her sit on his desk and face him, biting her fucking lip like the little minx she was. His breath hitched and his pants tightened when lustful film covered her eyes and she slowly, daringly, opened her legs for him.

Fuck.

She _knew_ he wanted her.

She knew he was struggling to stop himself.

And yet she was offering herself.

Sakura slipped her hand down her thigh, inching it closer to where her stockings hugged her thighs and trailed her fingers back up to the hem of her skirt. Tobirama had a front row seat to her puffy pink nether lips, covered by her pink panties. He was transfixed, and her lustrous scent filled his nostrils, he was a man gone.

"S-sakura," he choked, he needed to stop her. "I…I won't stop if you keep going," he threatened darkly, his hands shakily grabbing her thighs. His thumbs pressed into the meat of her skin, and he sucked in a breath when she shifted, pushing her legs open further.

"Maybe…I don't want you to stop," she murmured coyly. Her heart was terrorizing her chest, and she had never put on a promiscuous attitude, but she wanted him to get out of his head.

The heat was beginning to throb, and she wanted the feel of him inside of her again.

She reached downward and gripped his face to look up at her from his seat, "…I want _you_ , Sensei."

He leaned forward and hissed, his face pressed between her soft breasts, her feet were planted on his chair — anybody could walk in, but he couldn't find it in him to care.

Tobirama snapped.

The struggle with his pit of jealousy and want for this damnable girl and her ability to tease him without even trying brought forth something innately possessive within him. He tugged at her shirt, popping the buttons to her white uniform top, revealing her breasts hugged tight by her bra. He palmed her breasts and lifted her bra, sweeping her away with a harsh, dominating kiss. Her pink nipples hardened with his touch, and as he seared her lips with a bruising kiss, he tugged on her nipples, earning him a generous mewl from the gorgeous pinkette.

"You're fucking beautiful, Sakura," he breathed roughly, pulling away to memorize the flush of her cheeks and exposed chest.

At the sight, he growled low in his chest and pulled her forward, she yelped as he situated her on his lap. "Bend over," his deep voice commanded.

Sakura bit her lip, awkwardly leaning over his knees, "like this?" she murmured.

"No," he corrected her and tugged her so she was bent over on her belly over his knees, supporting herself with her hands on his desk, ass high in the air. His bulge pressed into her tummy, and her eyes widened when she realized what he was about to do.

"W-wait, Sen-?!" she blushed scarlet, the cool air tickled her inner thigh and exposed rear.

His hand skimmed over her round ass, entranced by her plump rear and creamy thighs. He lifted her skirt until it was hiked by her hips, "I love your ass," he growled, a man possessed.

Sakura shifted and wiggled her butt, "Sensei, what are you—?"

He cut her off, "You like when men look at you, don't you?" he gripped an ass cheek in his large palm, leaving a temporary hand print when she pursed her lips.

"N-no, Sensei."

A loud _slap!_ Echoed in the room.

His hand came down on her rear, and she bucked at the sudden pain from the intensity of his hand, " **do not** lie to me," he cut in darkly.

Sakura shuddered at the new sensation flooding her. Her thighs clenched as a throbbing flutter of pleasure made her wet. It felt… _Good_. "I'm not!" she whimpered, making Tobirama slap her ass again — Sakura yelped, the pain twisting into a sick pleasure.

"I said don't lie," he breathed, hand ghosting over her delicious rear, "you enjoy teasing me — the way you wear your skirt in my class is different than when you're out, don't? Did you think I wouldn't notice?" his deep, sultry voice made her shiver, and she wanted him to slap her again. In class, beyond her knowledge he could see up the steps and she would always keep her skirt hiked, teasing the eye by flashing her underwear from his vantage point at the bottom of the room.

Sakura couldn't think, he was so commanding and **dark** it made her skin tingle.

What was she becoming?

Her face was beat red, but she kept her face hidden and murmured her response.

"I can't hear you," he growled, ready to bend her over his desk and fuck her until she couldn't walk.

"Yes, I do! I wanted you to notice me," she wiggled her hips again, _wanting_ him.

She would be the end of him.

"And wearing your skirt so I can see your panties in class is the way to do it?"

Sakura nodded.

_"_ I can't hear you."

_Slap!_

_"_ _Yes!_ " she moaned, jolting and biting her lip, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" her delightful voice reminded him of honey. He could see she was eager for him, her slit was soaking through her panties — but he wanted to push her further. Her ass was a vibrant red now, his hand imprinted on her skin — but she was loving it.

"Sorry _what?_ " he reminded her of the honorific.

"I'm sorry Tobirama-sensei," she corrected, voice dripping with sin.

He was sick, his cock twitched painfully in his pants with every move she made, and her responsive body was driving him insane, "you're mine, understood?"

Sakura stilled, trying to assess what he meant — and he carefully watched different emotions flicker over her face before she nodded her head, "yes, Sensei."

"Who do you belong to?" he reminded her.

"…You, Tobirama-sensei," she shifted her butt again, arching for him.

Sakura had never felt so daring. There was something completely different about her Sensei today than the other night at his home. He was open and vulnerable days ago, he was gentle — but _this_ , this was different.

"Sensei," she pleaded, needing _something_.

"You're a bad girl, Sakura. You drive men like me insane."

She didn't say anything, she was throbbing now and the insatiable heat wouldn't go away.

"Am I your bad girl?" she headily whimpered.

Tobirama was almost floored she picked up their game so easily, "y-yes," he stammered roughly.

He noticed her heavy breathing and the way her thighs twitched, waiting for him to slap her again, "…do you like being spanked?"

Sakura eagerly nodded her head, urging her ass closer to his hand, "yes, _daddy._ "

The word left her before she could stop it — and she felt him stop, momentarily stunned by the word.

_I'm so dirty, I'm so dirty. He's going to hate me._

She watched it once on a porn video, and when she heard the girl screaming the simple word, it made her so wet she never forgot it.

Tobirama left his hand on her ass.

Fear suddenly gripped her, she was going to scare him away, and before she could try and explain herself, he slapped her ass again. It stung, and she moaned into the back of her hand, trying to bite down the pleading sob that wanted to escape.

Something in him broke. His cognitive functions stopped — because he saw red and lifted her from his lap. Pushing her over his desk, he lost his hand in the waves of her hair.

_Fuck_.

The word made him spiral. Precum stained his pants, and he used his free hand to unbutton his pants and unzip his fly to let his cock breathe. He pressed it into her thigh, hissing at the contact of her skin — curling his hand in her mane and tilting her neck back, arching for him , "say it again," he snarled, words constrict.

Sakura physically ached. She was shaking, her passage was twitching for contact, and the sound of his zipper made it throb, "Daddy, _please_ ," she whimpered.

" **Sakura—** " his voice shook, he grabbed his length and probed it at her entrance, he lifted her skirt to sit around her waist and he pushed her panties to the side.

She pushed against his length, slicking his head with her juices — she couldn't take it anymore. She weakly gripped onto his desk when his hand found it's way to her neck, craning her back towards him, "who do you belong to?"

He had to hear it.

Because he was going to make sure he was imprinted on her and ruined her for any other men that came after.

"You, Daddy."

_Fuck me._

Tobirama hilted her, his large length stretched her to the brim again, and Sakura threw her head back — her loud moan filling his office.

If he were a weak man, he would have cum right then.

He hissed and gave her a second to adjust to his girth, "do you want me to fuck you?"

After a few of long, delirious moments when both student and teacher were able to think through the haze of their lust, Sakura mewled — wiggling her hips, "yes—!"

Her professor grabbed her hips and started to slip out of her, only to ram into her again. Her eyes fluttered at the intensity of his need — and he didn't relent. Sakura barely had time to recover when he thrusted into her again, reaching a spot in her that had her seeing white.

Tobirama set a brutal pace. Her walls were still adjusting to his length, and she bit her lip as the pleasure and pain intermingled and built in her abdomen.

"Oh my god, Daddy yes!" Sakura cried after he hit her g spot, clinging onto his desk. Her sweet moans sounded like an orchestra to him, and her pitch got higher with each thrust. The small part of his remaining rationale realized they didn't lock the door, and at any minute another professor or student could walk in after hearing them. To silence her, he clamped her mouth with his large hand, and she sang into his skin — her moans muffled and the slapping of their skin meeting drove him insane.

She was tight, and she hugged his length like a glove — he could feel himself spiral.

Sakura popped one of his fingers into her mouth, smirking to herself when he huffed and groaned low in his chest. Her tongue swirled around the digit so Tobirama hooked his finger in her mouth — pulling her back further. Tobirama moaned low and hissed, losing himself to her responsive body and the gentle girl he was madly fucking in his office.

Her ass was glorious — it bounced with each thrust, her soft skin was a bright red with the contact of their skin "shit-!"

"Mmf-Harder, Daddy!" Sakura pleaded.

Tobirama growled, spreading her legs further with his thigh and hilted her.

"Ah— yes!"

Her walls sucked him in like a vice, and when he left her — her tight cunt gripped him like a glove, refusing to let him. His eyes rolled back, and he arched her further, sinking himself into her - he was so fucking close.

Sakura couldn't think, the only thing she could process was his length buried deep inside of her. Her body shuddered and she feebly tried to anchor herself to reality. Her body was lit with the essence of him. His virile sounds were all she could hear — and bent over his desk where anybody could walk in sent a sick thrill straight to her core.

"Daddy!" she muffled around his finger.

Tobirama let go of her mouth and curled his hand into her hair to crank her neck back.

Completely arched and exposed for him, Tobirama fucked her harder — earning him a series of pleading cries, "cover your mouth," he grunted.

Sakura barely managed to silence herself — it was too much. She couldn't take it much longer. Each time his hips met her butt, it felt like he was going to break her. Tears pricked at her eyes, and she squirmed beneath him when he pulled on her hair. This intensity was something she had never experience before, and his dominating aura paralyzed her body to the desk.

"Mmf!" she sniveled.

She could feel the coil about to burst — she felt his member engorge inside of her — "I'm gonna-!"

He was frantic.

Sakura managed to possess him and bring out something animalistic that he couldn't explain. Her lithe body was perfect, and he wanted her to know what she did to him. Her skin was tinged pink, and each time her velvet walls sucked him in, he felt his thighs begin to clench.

He wrenched her neck back and groped a breast.

Sakura turned her head to vaguely register his lips were pressed against her own, drowning out her sobs - and all he could taste was the gushing flavor of cherries.

They both crumpled together.

"Yes, yes!" she moaned into his mouth, her body clenched when her orgasm hit. The severity of what he did to her made her body arch and her eyes roll back, she wasn't sure about what happened for the next few seconds. All she could do was _feel_.

Tobirama drove his cock into her once, twice — before her cunt milked him. He finished inside of her with a silent roar against her lips. They rocked into one another, his half-tame grunts tantalized him as Sakura mewled and panted beneath him. He couldn't let go, his length spurted deep inside of her as he kept her hips still, pining her to the desk to take his seed while he was left a hollow mess of a man.

Minutes could have passed before they came to.

It was Sakura shifting beneath him that made him open his eyes. Caging her body beneath him, he let go of her hair and panted — trying to regain his composure.

His seed dripped down her thigh, and she bit her lip — the air was different, the intensity of his need dwindled with the ferociousness of their orgasm, and she loved the feeling of him deep inside of her. It was so intimate it warmed her entire body, and she knew whatever worries he had before would be gone.

Tobirama let his forehead rest on her shoulder, and he gulped — ashamed of how forceful he was, "I'm sorry—"

Sakura giggled to herself, slowly turning so she could face him. Her hands went to either side of his face and she kissed him softly, "don't apologize, Sensei."

Almost in slow motion, their their eyes locked — and she knew they weren't finished.

A blanket of calm lust covered them.

Where a frantic lust ruled them before, their lips met again in a soft and ginger kiss.

Sakura pushed her professor so he could sit back in his chair. They broke away from their magnetic kiss so Tobirama could work his pants off until they pooled at his feet.

Their gaze didn't falter, and Sakura slowly straddled him, using the chair's legs as purchase to hold herself up.

The professor gently held onto her hips as her arms wrapped around him. Sensually, their mouths connected in a calm union, Sakura's adorable moans rooted him to his seat. She gently rolled her hips, her slit sliding against his hardened shaft.

Pulling from their kiss, their mouths were left open in awe of one another, soft breaths of air escaped them, and he allowed his head to lull back on the chair when she guided his length into her passage again. He filled her completely, and the young student whimpered when he touched that deep spot within her.

Steadily, Sakura eased on and off of his length — allowing them the brevity and sensitivity to truly enjoy each inch of his member to sink into her.

She kept her pace slow, delighting herself the emotions that bubbled in her chest. This was intimate, and she felt like her heart would burst as he looked at her face in wonder — sharing gentle kisses.

Tobirama did nothing but hold onto her hips and watch her mesmerizing body work herself on him. He would pulse himself steadily into her, and neither gave a care to the outside world or the potential risk of what they were doing.

Their foreheads touched when she picked up speed, soft echoing moans danced around him when she bounced on top of him. Her thighs clenched and she bit her lip to stop herself from making too much noise. Gripping her butt, he gripped onto her skin so she could eagerly ride him.

"Good girl," he purred into her skin, suckling on her neck to add to the collection of love bites that were fading from the other night.

Their bodies rolled into one another, and the slick sound of her passage drove him crazy.

Sakura didn't know if she could handle much more.

She loved him, she loved him _so much_.

It was selfish of her to want more from him with everything that was happening in his life — and she hated herself for doing this when he barely signed the divorce papers, but she couldn't help it. She was _so_ lonely, and he provided her with a sense of warmth and home without even trying, and in the deep crevices of her soul she wanted to help him.

He made her happy.

She enjoyed seeing him happy.

So when he tenderly kissed his way up to her neck and finally their lips met — she broke.

A slow, budding sensation was blooming within her.

It was more intense than her previous orgasm — this…This was her heart.

Tobirama thrusted upwards into her, his light grunts against her bruised lips made him grip her skin — her bouncing body was heaven, and he felt something innately intimate that he never felt with Mei before.

"Ungh, Sensei!" she pressed into his mouth.

Their eyes met, a clash of red and sparkling green.

As their bodies uncoiled, they kept their eye contact when they came together.

Sakura's face prettily twisted as her walls convulsed around him, and he came again — but harder this time as he looked up at the most beautiful woman he ever met.

Like a pendulum, thunderous waves of pleasure hit their bodies in respective zones — and both were lost to the intensity of their peak.

He came inside of her, Sakura kept her hips grounded to him, panting as the ebbs of her orgasm slowly dulled her senses.

She wanted to cry out of happiness, but held it in.

Tobirama could do little but try and gain a sense of his reality.

Seconds ticked by when he wrapped his arms around her and kept her close to him, still yearning her touch.

"I'm obsessed with you," he admitted throatily, this realization hitting him like a ton of bricks.

The pinkette smiled to herself, trying not to cry, "and I love you," her voice broke, and he instantly looked up at her to see her shying away from him to hide her unshed tears.

Panic set in the professor, thinking he did something wrong, "why are you crying?"

Her lip trembled, and he physically ached seeing her trying to hide her pain, "it's nothing—" she smiled through her sadness, and fuck he wanted to fix evyerthing in her world if he could.

He never met a girl that cried as prettily as she did.

"Tell me," he gently urged, watching as a single tear slipped down her cheek.

"It's just— I didn't think I could love someone so much, and I feel so selfish because I know it's not something you feel, too," Sakura sniffled, trying to stop herself from the storm of emotion that threatened to engulf her.

He wiped her tear with his thumb, her admitting to this killed him because he wanted to save her from his answer — but he wasn't a liar, "don't cry. You're too perfect to cry over an old man like me," he admitted, "do you know what you're doing to me, Sakura?"

Sakura looked at him, taking a deep breath to shake her head.

He kept her close to him, wanting her to understand, "I think about you constantly. You…Make my day better without trying. I want all of you, and you have all of me. With the bullshit that's been happening — you and Toneri are the only things that make me happy."

Her eyes widened.

To even be comparable to his son made her chest flutter happily — "I do?"

Tobirama cracked a warm smile — his stoic and usually severe face could have so much more emotion it astounded her, "you do. And I want to take you on a proper date," he kissed her to subdue her sadness, and she finally smiled, happy tears squeezing out of her eyes.

"But…What if someone sees us?" she questioned, thinking they would never have a normal date, or that he would _want_ to take her on a date.

"I don't care," Tobirama answered, "there's a carnival in town by Tsuna's house this weekend — and I was hoping you would go with me?" He didn't normally feel shy around women, but even as he was still inside of this damned pinkette, he felt like a shy kid again.

The brightest smile lit up her face and she threw her arms around him again, "yes! I would love to!" she hugged him and pressed her face into his neck, inhaling his calming scent. Her excitement for his time made him chuckle, and he ran his fingers through her silky hair, wondering what he was getting himself into.

Tobirama didn't care to think about it right now, he just knew it felt _right._

And just like that, she managed to turn his day around.

When she left fixing her panties and her skirt — having to borrow a handkerchief to wipe his seed from her inner leg since he had two more classes today, he smirked to himself, proud and…Really happy.

xox

For the rest of the day, all the professor could think about was Sakura.

It was unhealthy, and he tried calling Mei six more times — but nothing.

He knew he would need to make a call to the police, but it was so clear she purposely left it wouldn't matter what they did — they wouldn't waste time trying to look for a woman who claimed to everyone else beside their husband that she was going on an extended trip.

Fucking Mei.

When he arrived home, Itama and Toneri were in the front yard spectating different insects, and when his car pulled up Toneri whipped his head in his direction and bolted towards him once he parked. Not a second after getting out of the car, his son threw himself into his arms, laughing and hugging him as Tobirama showered him in kisses.

"He sure does get excited to see you," Itama laughed, walking up to his older brother.

"You'll understand when you have kids," Tobirama held Toneri and grabbed his bag from his car, "thanks for picking him up today — I got caught up at school."

Itama waved him off, "don't mention it, Nii-san. I know it's hard right now for you, and besides I love my nephew."

They walked into his house, and Toneri ran off to go show Tobirama something he made at pre-school, leaving the two brothers alone. Itama grabbed his school bag, shying away clearly thinking about something — which usually meant something was bugging the kid or his head was in space. Tobirama picked up on his brother's mind set when they were kids, and being intuitive already — he could read his brother like a book. Itama had always been severely shy and small up until high school when he found his place among the student council and other academically focused peers. And when he hit his growth spurt, their youngest brother gained the confidence of a world leader overnight.

"What is it?" Tobirama pressured, setting down his things on the table.

"Hm? Oh, I'm just thinking of something…" he drifted, face lighting up.

Tobirama raised a speculative brow, "well are you going to tell me or just stand there?"

He walked away to the kitchen, and Itama followed after him, and he could _feel_ the happiness roll off of him, "well…I wanted to know what you thought of Sakura-chan?"

The older male stopped mid-step, his body doused in cold water at the question.

He chose his reaction carefully, trying not to remember himself fucking her in his office earlier, "…why?"

"Because I really like her, Nii-san. Our date wasn't really a date…But I can't stop thinking about her! Obaa-chan loves her — but I wanted to know what you think, too."

It was odd hearing this from Itama considering that this kid normally dipped himself into most girls before getting over them, and he stirred at the idea of Itama truly pursuing one of the only things keeping him sane in his life.

"…What do you like about her?" Tobirama measured his words, and he sat down at the kitchen table — his bills a mountainous peak in the corner that he needed to get situated.

"She's really funny once you get her to talk comfortably, she's intelligent — Family oriented, and she wants to be a surgeon. I've never met a girl quite like her…She's not from Tokyo so maybe that's why. I'm just tired of the girls here."

Tobirama agreed on all ends of his brother's infatuation, and it made his stomach curl knowing what he knew so intimately about the girl his brother was talking about, "then why don't you pursue her? You don't need my opinion—"

_What the hell am I saying?_

Mentally berating himself, he almost missed the downward look of his younger brother, "I think she's interested in someone else."

Tobirama froze — fear suffocating him. He looked at his brother, and Itama sighed wistfully, "it makes sense, I can only imagine who it is."

A pregnant pause placated the room, Itama was sure his brother was bored by now hearing him spew about a girl when he had his own issues with Mei right now.

Tobirama wrestled with his demons in deciding what to say. Part of him knew encouraging Itama would only make things more difficult for them in the future, but the other part of him that wanted to selfishly keep her for himself sparked the heat that rose to his face.

He couldn't do it.

"Don't talk to her."

The look on his brother's face was the first step into knowing about their exonerated relationship.

_That_ look.

And he realized what he said too late, because the words were said before he could stop them, "ask her on a proper date," Tobirama finished — hating himself.

"…And bring her flowers."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still alive everyone - I'm not on a hiatus, I promise. I apologize for the delay in the chapter - life has been getting in the way and I've been focusing on work. If I could, I would write every single day, but I can't.  
> I hope this update was to everyone's standard, I know I had a fun time writing it. Thank you for being so patient with me, and thank you for taking the time to read this story!  
> Don't forget to let me know what you think and leave a comment/kudos - it gives me a lot of motivation!


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